I feel that I should tone down the opinions for awhile and just state the facts (ma'am), so here they are:

North is officially a walker. Last night, he walked in circles through our living room to the kitchen and back, over and over. He still crawls but he uses it as a last resort when he is really upset.

He is also becoming more determined to express his feelings and ideas. He has new toys to play with, heaven forbid I take him away from them when he is still playing. He is also becoming more sensitive to feeling his own hunger and tiredness. As his nap times are still fluctuating, I have to stay empathetic rather then reactionary. Though I have to admit I have forgotten a few times and became frustrated when I should have just taken him upstairs right away.

Our ginuea pig has died.

The hearth gate is up and we have a new wood rack. I am looking for a metal basket to store newspaper and kindling. It is nice to run the wood stove again.

In the next few months, Reed and I will tackle the task of turning the guest room into North's playroom. His "bedroom", now only clothing and toy storage; will be de-cluttered and transformed into something more serene. In the coming winter months, I want to create an indoor, active playroom and also slowly begin the transition into a seperate solitary sleeping space for North. In the last week our house had a few more sleepover guests then we had beds, so I also thought I would look for a futon couch on Craigslist to add to the playroom.

I am reading the Dog Whisper's new book and have decided that our dogs need more consistant exercise. We went for a very long, very well mannered neighboorhood walk today.

North and I will tackle the A.C. pool tomorrow night. Hopefully he still remembers that he likes water!

That's all.

Men pay less because they are scared to visit their doctors

...and so this is why I take care of my body? Preventive healthcare doesn't pay in America apparently.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/30/us/30insure.html?em

my child is gifted already....

First....

Last night North and I were reading some books before going to bed. As we were reading "Goodnight Moon" we turned to the page that says, "Goodnight stars.." First North looks at the page and then he points up to the ceiling of his room and says "Dat!" He was pointing to the stars on the ceiling of a room that he doesn't even sleep in! This was one of his first mental associations between two different objects.

Then...

North and I were nursing on the big chair in the living room this afternoon. I was singing the ABC song as well as a few other songs. After he was done, North scooted off my lap and walked into the kitchen. He stopped in front of the refrigerator and began playing with the Leapfrog ABC (it "sings" the ABC song). It appears that he formed a mental picture of those letters after hearing my song. My child is brilliant! =)

1. 085 birthday celebration

...otherwise known as a 1 year, 1 month birthday party for North!

Thanks go to Josh (my sister's husband) for the great photos.

This weekend Reed and I invited our families to our home to celebrate North turning one. Reed was away on North's actual birthday, so we planned this event for our families.

On Friday, my mom, dad, sister, and brother in law, Reed's brother and his girlfriend arrived. We all headed off to the beach.

Saturday morning Reed's mother and uncle joined us and we all went to the Farmers Market, then to the redwood forest for a short hike.

Reed's dad and stepmother were at our house when we got back from our hike. We all relaxed around the yard as it was hot! Some people took naps, others went for a walk around the neighborhood.

(my dad built a box with many locks and doors as a gift to North)

Later that evening, we headed over to Bless My Soul Cafe for some birthday Cajun food. North loves rice and beans and he really likes Cajun music. Reed and I would eat at this place every week if we could. I think everybody enjoyed themselves around a big table and certainly had enough to eat, the plates just kept coming! The food served there is amazing. So many wonderful flavors and spices.


North was not really into eating that night; he visited with some of the family and played on the floor. I knew that the large group would be overstimulating for him, so I had asked the owner to have dessert ready for us to take home.

...and so we took the party back to our house.


Have you ever eaten bread pudding? Mama Janisse (the owner of the cafe) cooked up a great tray of this amazing dessert. We ate it warm with ice cream served right over the top.

We sent everybody back to their respective homes after breakfast Sunday morning. Reed, North and I are so thankful to everyone who came up to visit us and celebrate North's birthday. I know North enjoyed everybodys' love and attention. He certainly was a big ham when he had a room full of people watching him!

(Where has my baby gone? I now have a little boy to love!)

What I believe: Nighttime Parenting

Reed and I share our bed with North.

I had read a few things on bed sharing before North arrived, but had also purchased a co-sleeper and was given a crib. So to say that we were planning to take nighttime parenting one night at a time is a bit of an understatement. When North arrived, we found that the nights that North started out in our bed were much easier then nights when he slept away from us.

I believe that sharing a bed with North has:

1. Made him a more confident person because his relationship with his parents has grown stronger then if we left him in another room to cry throughout the night.
2. Nighttime parenting = acknowledging that your child needs you 24 hours of every day. I believe that once we become parents, we cannot go backwards into what we wish we still had.
3. Helped him as a newborn ease into his physical body. As he and I slept together, my breath (CO2) caused his body to remember to continue breathing. Ever wonder why SIDS is also called crib death? Most of SIDS cases are caused by a baby sleeping alone in a crib, "forgetting" to breathe. Countries that don't use cribs or leave babies alone have significantly lower rates of SIDS. Only in cases of possible parental negligence (drunkenness, using drugs, obesity) does SIDS coincide with bed sharing (referenced: Dr. James McKenna -http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/
4. Waking up to your own child is beautiful and so very wonderful! Yes, he is waking me up earlier then I wish but he is in my bed! I don't have to go anywhere! I nurse, I stay drowsy, Reed sleeps on and on and on.... =) North is so cute in the morning; those moments are some of the best of our day. North is over a year now, Reed and I cannot think of a single morning that North has woken up cranky. He always wakes up ready to find new adventures.
5. When we visit family, North sleeps with us. While we may be seeing new and confusing things during the day, nighttime continues to be a soothing place of familiar senses. Let me repeat: North is a happy and confident person. He runs with his battery on full! Even teething hasn't slowed us down. North nurses more during the night when his teeth are cutting, but the nursing is discrete and quick. I hardly wake up to notice.
6. Don't even get me started on the developmental consequences of expecting a new child to "grow up" and "train" themselves back to sleep. Has anyone else noticed our cultural dependence on pharmaceutical drugs that help us sleep through the night? Do children really forget all that they have been exposed to when they couldn't yet speak? Why do we wait until middle childhood to treat them with respect?

So in conclusion, I have to state that sharing a bed with North has been very successful so far.

In the beginning, Reed and I made an agreement with each other. We would move North to his own bed when the bed sharing is not working for one or both of us. Someday in the near future North will begin napping in his own bed. The transition will occur with respect for his feelings and needs. If he tells me he is not ready, I will stop and try again later. Obviously the goal is for him to embrace sleeping alone with as much joy as he takes from sharing a bed with his family.

Pumpkin activities

Yesterday we went to our local pumpkin patch. We rode out to the pumpkins in a hay wagon pulled by a tractor.

North poses with his pumpkin.

Our hero carries it away for us.

Visiting the pumpkin patch was followed by another activity: carving!

Big pumpkin, little pumpkin.

North loved experiencing the goo that came out of the pumpkins. He flung it around, he squished it, and he stirred it with a big spoon.

After all that activity, North was ready for his bath and bed. Reed did all the carving; the jack-o-lanterns look great! ....Now if we can only keep them from molding.....

Academy of Science and Japantown

-Updated-

Reed, North, and I took a family vacation to San Francisco for a few days. We wanted to see the newly opened Academy of Sciences and experience some big city culture.

We started with Fisherman's Wharf. We ate lunch and watched Bushman scare the tourists across the street. Then we walked down to Pier 39 and saw the sea lions. It was at least 80 degrees (in San Francisco!) so Reed and I shared an iced sugar drink. I let North have a taste, but I think it might have created a monster. When Reed and I tried to hide it from him, he threw a fit, so we ended up throwing it away. I guess we should be better role models. After lunch we checked into our hotel in Japantown. Our plan was to park the car and use the bus system or walk for transit.

Reed and North enjoying some mint tea at the hotel as we settle in.


Our first evening, we jumped on a bus to meet some friends for dinner. North became very quiet on the bus. I think he was taking in all the people and their styles. The bus drivers had nerves of steel and lead feet. I wanted to know how often the buses needed their brakes changed, but I forgot to ask. North livened up when we sat down to dinner (Mai's Restaurant, good Vietnamese food!) and our friend's teenage daughter started to make faces at him. The two clowns meet! Kurt and Catherine had some great stories to tell and were very patient with us as we tried to calm North. He had enough about halfway through dinner and became very noisy. It was time to go back to the hotel for bed...

The next morning we jumped back on the Muni to go to Golden Gate Park. We found the Academy very easily. Thanks, Catherine!

Interactive bugs: North chased the "bugs" into a "trap". On a large screen on the wall, we were able to read information about the "trapped bugs". The "bugs" crawled out from under leaves, then scattered if you moved or stepped on them. Very interesting for North.

The academy has a library of books, mounted specimens, and other items that members and California teachers can check out as resources for their classrooms. Very interesting to me.

North liked the Galapagos tortoise.

"What's down there?" (Sting rays and leopard sharks)

Is this an alien colonization or the roof of the Academy?

Looking down the stairs from the roof.

Leaning in for a better look

We all enjoyed the aquarium part of the academy. Most of the displays were easy for North to view at his own level. He enjoyed patting the glass whenever a fish swam by him. The tank with creatures from the California coast was very cool. Reed knew all their names! (North missed it because he was asleep in the Ergo)

Golden Gate Park has an awesome children's playground. We had to play at the park before leaving. It also has a municipal code that prevents adults without children to enter; a very smart idea.

For dinner that night we chose a Japanese place close to the hotel that was toddler friendly. Did you know that an one year old will eat pickled seaweed, and love it too? We had to order an extra serving. Those two dinners were the only eating "outside of the box" that we did. I love going to as many different ethnic restaurants as we can cram into a day, but on this trip North became exhausted by early evening.We are planning another trip back to the Academy next year, I hope we will get to experience more restaurants then.

Leaving the car in the garage was a great idea not only because public transportation around the city is simple but also because North has decided that he is now too active to be contained in his seat. So, riding on the bus with all its distractions eliminated that problem altogether. I had planned on walking over to a Japanese communal bath house after North went to sleep in the evening, but that did not work out. I will make that a priority next time, as I am really interested. Over all, we had a great trip!

Stories I read today:

Death be proud:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/health/09case.html?ref=health

Iceland:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/09/business/worldbusiness/09icebank.html?em

Birth story:
http://inspiringbirthstories.wordpress.com/

Positive birthing stories

New favorite site. Positive birthing stories. Did you know that these existed? Check it out.

http://inspiringbirthstories.wordpress.com/page/2/

Pictures of a 12 month old's day.

North walks inside.

North walks outside.

He helps with the laundry,

..and then gets distracted by a flower.

Finished diapers hanging. Basil stands guard to protect the clothesline from unruly hooligans.

A strawberry stain and dirty feet. Need we say more?

Found this online...

I copied this from another site. So true and wise...

We The Savers
OUR DECLARATION OF FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

1. We will spend less than we earn. Saving a little out of every dollar we bring home is the foundation of independence. Without it, we can’t build equity in our home, we can’t invest for the future, and we can’t be ready for challenging times. We promise to pay ourselves first, always.

2. We will use our home as a savings account. Besides shelter and comfort for our family, the role of a house in our financial life is to build equity. We will have a healthy down payment when we buy. We’ll choose the mortgage that lets us pay down the principal fastest. And then we’ll leave that equity safe where it is instead of spending it on things that don’t last.

3. We will take care of our money. It’s not enough to have money in a bank. We will put it where it will grow. We’ll keep track of it. And we’ll check every account we have every year to protect ourselves against fraud or escheatment.

4. We will defend our credit worthiness. Good credit is going to be precious in the years to come. We will pay our bills on time. We’ll borrow only when we need to and in amounts we can comfortably pay back. And then we’ll do just that.

5. We will ignore unsolicited credit card marketing. We decide when we need a credit card, not some marketer. And mostly, we probably don’t need another one at all. We won’t even open those solicitations. We’ll shred them.

6. We will know the cost of borrowing. The interest lenders charge us is real money, too. When we buy a mortgage or finance a purchase, we’ll figure out what that interest is really going to cost in dollars, add it to the purchase price, and ask ourselves if it’s still worth it.

7. We will invest for the long term. Futures are built out of patience and prudence, not luck. We will not put off being a saver because we think there’s a lottery win in our future, in Vegas or on Wall Street.

8. We will take care of the things we have. We work hard for our money, and it’s disrespectful to waste it – or the planet – by treating our possessions as disposable.

9. We will remember what matters. We are not the things we own. If we have to spend and spend on bigger, more impressive things to keep up with our friends, then they are not our friends at all.

10. We will be heard. Our representatives in government and the corporations we deal with need to know that we are paying attention. If we’re silent, we’re accepting the status quo, and the business practices that got our country into this situation will continue. We are not going to accept that.

A day in the Life of....North!

7:00 Nurse. Laugh. Talk Mama awake. Out of Bed! New diaper, play in my room while Mama puts away clean laundry.

7:30 Eat scrambled eggs (yuch!) and buttered toast (yum!). I want down! The dogs help Mama clean the floor. I play in my kitchen cupboard and with the refrigerator letters.

8:00 Mama and I play in my room, she tries to sneak out to take a shower. I catch her! I cry! She won't get out of the shower!!

8:15 We snuggle in our bed. I nurse away the tears. I fall asleep.

10:30 We are late to playgroup! Mama has straightened the house while I was asleep. I must fix that! But I am whisked into the car before I can find my toys and things again.

10:45 Playgroup is fun. I play on a soft bouncing horse and watch the other kids. I watch a girl slide down the slide over and over. I crawl up and down a soft ramp. I climb off the edge. Mama helps me go feet first. I don't understand her logic, but whatever! Circle time with songs, I like that, and then we are off again!

12:30 We go to the animal feed store. While leaving, we get stuck in traffic caused by a Homecoming Parade but that is ok. We watch the floats and the trucks.

1:00 I am hungry!! I eat fruit with plain yogurt and a buttered bagel. I like butter!

1:30 I help Mama sort the clean diapers. I try to catch the dogs because I want to tell them about my day, but they don't listen! Maybe I am talking to loud. We play downstairs for awhile, then we go up into my room.

2:00 We read a few books. I am feeling sleepy.

2:15 I like my big bed. When Mama puts me down, I crawl over to my place and lay down. She snuggles with me and I nurse. I sleep.

3:15 I wake! Come get me! I want to play. I am hungry! I eat rice cakes with cream cheese with raspberries. I eat part of a pear. Mama and I play with boxes and spoons. I make a lot of noise. I take a few steps, but crawling is faster.

4:30 Mama makes soup and contemplates a walk. It continues to rain.

5:30 We eat soup and animal crackers. I make a huge mess. Good thing the dogs help Mama keep the floor clean.

6:00 I play in the bath. I have buckets and measuring cups in my tub. I like to fill a bottle with water and dump it out again.

6:30 I am dry and in a nighttime diaper. Mama and I read and brush teeth together.

7:00 I sleep.

Parenting

Today North and I went to a playgroup held at a community center in our town. North started out shy, then he grew more comfortable and recently has begun to play as soon as we walk in the door. He gets the chance to explore (I love that word!) new toys. These toys are often for older children or are toys we don't have in our house (i.e. toys that make noise at a push of a button!)

I like to talk with the other parents and see the other children play and interact. The group totals about 10-15 kids with the age range being pretty diverse. One child is 8 months; I have seen other children who look like they will be starting kindergarten next year. North's easy laugh and happy personality sometimes attract the other kids to his play space. Not much sharing goes on in the group as a whole; that is a big difference between this and preschool, but most of the parents are pretty aware and watch their kids closely.

What I like to watch for is the way the parents interact with their children. During the last few years during my time with families, I have seen a fair share of family dynamics. The following examples are not limited from the above mentioned playgroup.

I have seen parents who exclusively talk to their children in question format ("Do you want to help me clean up?" "Do you want to put on your coat?") There are other parents who hover over their child; leading their play the entire time ("Let's play with this puzzle. Where does this piece go? Where does this piece go?" On and on and on.) I see parents who appear to need a bit of time away from their child ("My child, I guess he is in the bathroom, he will be fine. Oh, he is using the soap to paint on the mirror? Oh well..)

But those are just a few of the parents that I see. The rest of the parents talk authentically to their child giving them a fair choice and providing appropriate guidance that is thoughtful and respectful to the developmental stage their child is at. To a child who is not finding sucess playing with his friend and a toy: ("Josh, you look really frustrated. Let's give Gwen some space and go have a snack") Or to a child who isn't cleaning up before circletime: (Statement-"We are cleaning up now." Guiding choice- "Do you want to help me or do you want to find your own toy to clean up?")

Effective parenting is not something you can learn from a book. I feel thankful that I have a great community in which I can learn from and feel supported by in my choices of how to raise my child.