I had read a few things on bed sharing before North arrived, but had also purchased a co-sleeper and was given a crib. So to say that we were planning to take nighttime parenting one night at a time is a bit of an understatement. When North arrived, we found that the nights that North started out in our bed were much easier then nights when he slept away from us.
I believe that sharing a bed with North has:
- Made him a more confident person because his relationship with his parents has grown stronger then if we left him in another room to cry throughout the night.
- Nighttime parenting = acknowledging that your child needs you 24 hours of every day. I believe that once we become parents, we cannot go backwards into what we wish we still had.
- Helped him as a newborn ease into his physical body. As he and I slept together, my breath (CO2) caused his body to remember to continue breathing. Ever wonder why SIDS is also called crib death? Most of SIDS cases are caused by a baby sleeping alone in a crib, "forgetting" to breathe. Countries that don't use cribs or leave babies alone have significantly lower rates of SIDS. Only in cases of possible parental negligence (drunkenness, using drugs, obesity) does SIDS coincide with bed sharing (referenced: Dr. James McKenna -http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/
- Waking up to your own child is beautiful and so very wonderful! Yes, he is waking me up earlier then I wish but he is in my bed! I don't have to go anywhere! I nurse, I stay drowsy, Reed sleeps on and on and on.... =) North is so cute in the morning; those moments are some of the best of our day. North is over a year now, Reed and I cannot think of a single morning that North has woken up cranky. He always wakes up ready to find new adventures.
- When we visit family, North sleeps with us. While we may be seeing new and confusing things during the day, nighttime continues to be a soothing place of familiar senses. Let me repeat: North is a happy and confident person. He runs with his battery on full! Even teething hasn't slowed us down. North nurses more during the night when his teeth are cutting, but the nursing is discrete and quick. I hardly wake up to notice.
- Don't even get me started on the developmental consequences of expecting a new child to "grow up" and "train" themselves back to sleep. Has anyone else noticed our cultural dependence on pharmaceutical drugs that help us sleep through the night? Do children really forget all that they have been exposed to when they couldn't yet speak? Why do we wait until middle childhood to treat them with respect?
So in conclusion, I have to state that sharing a bed with North has been very successful so far.
In the beginning, Reed and I made an agreement with each other. We would move North to his own bed when the bed sharing is not working for one or both of us. Someday in the near future North will begin napping in his own bed. The transition will occur with respect for his feelings and needs. If he tells me he is not ready, I will stop and try again later. Obviously the goal is for him to embrace sleeping alone with as much joy as he takes from sharing a bed with his family.