I have sent an inquiry out to a local photographer about her prices for a photo project. I am really interested in having a packet of birth photographs taken during this upcoming birth. I would like to see a photo of my baby's face as she/he emerges out into the water, I would like to see Reed's face, North's face, my mom's face.... all of these moments I was so not interested in during North's birth, because, well I had better things to work through! This time around I would like to look back on what the other people, as well as me, were feeling as we all experienced those special moments of the birth.
But then again, I feel conflicted. I have been reading a bit on Unassisted Birth and why many families choose to birth in that way. When I read other women's accounts of their birth experiences, I can relate to some of the reasons they choose not to allow intrusions into their birthing space. So, I wonder. Am I inviting distractions into this special place of mine? Will my support team also be a liability against the natural reactions of my body? And most importantly to me... what will happen after the baby has been born?
After North was born, I kind of went into a shock. Not a medical type of shock, but a "what do I do now" shock. After I held North on my chest for a short time, the doctor asked me to leave the water pool before delivering the placenta. This led to me giving North to someone else to hold. I don't even remember who reached for him. Reed? My mom? A random nurse? At the time, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to say "Wait a minute, everyone is healthy, give me my time with my baby."
Instead things turned into a quick checklist of accomplishments: Baby weighed, APGARed, cleaned off. Placenta delivered, Mother cleaned off.
Oh yeah, maybe the Mother should have her Baby back.
I can remember most of the labor and birth clearly, yet when I try to recollect the time immediately after, I don't see North very clearly.
I don't feel any resentment towards the past, yet I want to be clearer in my expectations for this upcoming birth. I want to have a peaceful space available in which I can introduce myself to my new baby and let him/her come to know me. I would like all this to happen before the distractions/stimulus of life take over from the bliss of labor hormones. A source for further information may come from Michael Odent. From what I understand, he believes in this right of mothers. I will be reading more from him as soon as possible.