I have left both kids with our friend a few times now. I mostly do it for the practice, for me as much as the kids. Sky has been ok, as long as the time is short while North has generally been excited to have a new person to play with. But North is still North (read: moody) and Sky is a baby trying to understand the relationship of people coming and going (read: separation anxiety). Our friend asked for some insights as to what the kids like and need so I wrote to her on Facebook:
"Ok, ...so I am opening up my mind for brainstorming here....North likes Popsicle and pickles, so you can use those foods for turning away the tears. We tell him, "wipe away tears and find your happy body" when he starts to whine or cry (un-needed crying, that is)....Sky likes splashing in water so you could take out a cookie sheet and put a little bit of water into it and then place him on the floor....North also like to watch Nemo or Harold and the Purple Crayon, but I usually find that when he is whiny or crying what he is really asking for is one on one attention to refocus his energy...which is hard because Sky is a baby and needs so much attention too!
You are always welcome to put the kids in the stroller (under a sheet on the front porch) and go for a walk. I will leave a map at the house cause the streets around here are either REALLY narrow or REALLY hilly, but we have a pretty good walking route that a neighbor and I use. The kids usually settle well in the stroller esp. if you chatter about what you are seeing. I ask North if he seeing anything green or blue or whatever.
The key to North's moods is refocusing him. He really struggles with regulating his moods. My parenting strategy is to give him enough space so that he (with help) can acknowledge his mood and work on identifying the cause while also choosing a path to lead him out of the negativity.
Usually he just really needs to pee or he is hungry. Simple needs, but they rule the day.
I am pretty firm about teaching North to respect his brothers' play space. If Sky is touching a toy/object then North should not be taking it away from him. So there is a bit of sibling energy going on right now. North is not usually aggressive, but if Sky has been needing a lot of time, North will get needy himself because he is feeling uncertain about his place.
Crazy simple, yet I think I still struggle with some of these issues!
Painting is always fun if you are willing to handle the clean-up. I put a few squirts of paint of a paper plate and North paints on cardboard. Usually he winds up painting on his hands, arms, clothes. You are welcome to give the kids a bath whenever you think it is necessary, but be warned that when only North is in the bath, Sky will most likely fling himself over the edge so that he can be in the water too. Sky is still a bit wobbly in the water so you have to keep a hand near his body at all times. I usually get Sky out first, have North pull the plug (he likes to watch the water go down the drain), then towel North off as Sky watches.
Tents are always fun. We have a couple of sheets ready in the wooden coffee/toy box and my mom brought up a new pop tent when she recently visited.
Sky likes to stand next to the little snack table and eat O's off the edge. Up in his highchair you can also give him chunks of banana or toast.
Thank you again for your time and energy! I feel so thankful that I have someone that I can trust to be with North and Sky."
A fellow mother told me recently that parents of boys "get it on the way in" and parents of girls "get it on the way out." Both my kids have big feelings that are showing up strong. I hope I can stay focused on the biggest prize before their childhood slips away. I won't stand around, impatiently waiting for the next childhood phase. I don't want to miss a thing right now.