Your Fear is not my Fear

A recent comment left by my (Common Law) Mother-in-Law, has reminded me of a portion of our President's Inaugural Address.

"...we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." -Barack Obama

Our nation is in the process of shrugging off the pieces of a common culture diseased by FOX media, Michael Savage, and other means of controlling by fear. I see in our future,a nation being brought back into self-confidence and forward-thinking policies of action. We now have a leader who encourages free thought and that action lays not always within the government, but in its people.

I hope that our new-found confidence will soon translate into a better birthing experience for American women. Right now I see examples of woman contemplating labor as a battle. Everywhere we go, both men and women gleefully share stories of the pain and the gruesome, yet unavoidable troubles of hospital policy. So what should a women do? Should she turn away from the pregnancy path? Should she abort? Should she plan on taking drugs to numb the experience and make it all go as fast as possible? So many women give up at this point (or even after a traumatic first delivery in a hospital) and pray they can just make it until they can hold their healthy baby in their arms.

But is that any way to live? Closing your eyes and thinking of England? Not for me, thank you very much. I choose both safety and my ideals. I choose to live with a purpose, with joy, and in the moment of the one life in which I am given. I am educated, I am in the process of being educated, and tomorrow I will be educated further. I can make safe choices for myself, my baby, and my family without the input of fear and social mis-guidance. To all that have fear, please keep your ideas to yourself.

I am not a sheep.

Musings

I have sent an inquiry out to a local photographer about her prices for a photo project. I am really interested in having a packet of birth photographs taken during this upcoming birth. I would like to see a photo of my baby's face as she/he emerges out into the water, I would like to see Reed's face, North's face, my mom's face.... all of these moments I was so not interested in during North's birth, because, well I had better things to work through! This time around I would like to look back on what the other people, as well as me, were feeling as we all experienced those special moments of the birth.

But then again, I feel conflicted. I have been reading a bit on Unassisted Birth and why many families choose to birth in that way. When I read other women's accounts of their birth experiences, I can relate to some of the reasons they choose not to allow intrusions into their birthing space. So, I wonder. Am I inviting distractions into this special place of mine? Will my support team also be a liability against the natural reactions of my body? And most importantly to me... what will happen after the baby has been born?

After North was born, I kind of went into a shock. Not a medical type of shock, but a "what do I do now" shock. After I held North on my chest for a short time, the doctor asked me to leave the water pool before delivering the placenta. This led to me giving North to someone else to hold. I don't even remember who reached for him. Reed? My mom? A random nurse? At the time, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to say "Wait a minute, everyone is healthy, give me my time with my baby."

Instead things turned into a quick checklist of accomplishments: Baby weighed, APGARed, cleaned off. Placenta delivered, Mother cleaned off.

Oh yeah, maybe the Mother should have her Baby back.

I can remember most of the labor and birth clearly, yet when I try to recollect the time immediately after, I don't see North very clearly.

I don't feel any resentment towards the past, yet I want to be clearer in my expectations for this upcoming birth. I want to have a peaceful space available in which I can introduce myself to my new baby and let him/her come to know me. I would like all this to happen before the distractions/stimulus of life take over from the bliss of labor hormones. A source for further information may come from Michael Odent. From what I understand, he believes in this right of mothers. I will be reading more from him as soon as possible.

Right now

Right now I am sitting by a sunny window listening to the "We are One" concert in Washington, D.C. North is napping and I have eaten lunch. All is well when you have inspirational music, speeches and sunshine on your toes.



North, Hayley and I had a pancake breakfast at a local grange this morning. Earlier, I dropped Reed off at a bridge at dawn for a solo fishing trip. He was taking the inflatable kayak out for a day's float down the river.


This isn't a picture of Reed, I will have to wait until he gets home for his pictures. We found our kayak when we were at an inland river a few summers ago. We had hiked pretty far up the river away from other people when we saw an orange inflatable boat stuck on the grass. I guess someone had got dumped out upstream. We asked the few people we saw as we headed back to our car, but were not able to find the original owners. I hope they were ok.

Recycle, reuse!