Respect and Patience...One Day at a Time

Setting the foundation: growing a movement

2011-03-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

I have been exploring different preschool blogs written by teachers who reject academic-focused "play" in the classroom. The following video comes from Teacher Tom.

sharing the power

2011-03-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

same direction, new inspiration.

Back in the game again

2011-02-03T20:20:00.000-08:00

Oh February. I don't mind January and I enjoy celebrating my dad's birth, but this year I decided to give up the first month of the year.

The bills still had to be paid and I went to work (somewhat joyfully). However, all extra tasks went undone. It felt good to slack for a month. It felt good to hibernate, not feeling obligated by anyone or anything. It felt liberating.

Alas, the energy couldn't be maintained forever. I found an inspiring teacher blog to follow. Many of the ideas I read about I later tried out on my own preschoolers and will use for writing a new blog about preschool teachings. I am still working with the way I present the preschoolers within the posts, and so will keep the new website undercover for awhile. I am trying to show the exploration concepts and the way the kids interact with the activities through photos and descriptions without using faces or names.

Reed and I did four weeks of a fitness boot camp in January too. Hey, it's cheaper then couples counseling and an acupuncturist said I need more activity to burn up the fire in my belly, so there it was. And the exercise is great! In one evening, Reed and I could go from not speaking to each other to motivating each other as we shared in the pain of the workouts. On the car ride back home, we could compare notes about which activity was brutal or what we really enjoyed as we congratulated ourselves for another great night.

Oh the pain. I can only laugh through the pain. I love going to that happy place inside the mind as the 30th jump squat burns my thigh muscles to pieces. What else can be done? I signed up for this and it is great! It's like labor really. Temporary, crazy intense pain so that a person can step through a threshold of a whole new perspective, and into a new thought process.

2010-12-26T15:25:00.000-08:00

I saw in the paper last week that a student from HSU would be guiding a walk through the Community forest looking for salamanders. The boys and I were on board with that idea, so Saturday morning found us gathering on a street corner near the forest with several other families.

Education at its purest from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Another afternoon after I came home from work, we decided to go for a bike ride out through the Arcata Bottoms and across the Mad River bridge.

It was a wonderful ride. We parked by the bridge and rode out to the beach. The dogs were with us the whole way.

North and Sky were a little excited about being out as the evening darkened. Once released from the bike seats, they could have played on the rocks for hours.

And North would have too, until he discovered he could climb up the fence.

Once he got up to the top, things got a little tricky. He was adamant that he could climb over the top and down to the bridge path. Reed and I were not OK with that idea so we were in a bit of a stand-off for a while. Finally I suggested that Reed tickle North's knees and thus cause him to let go of the fencing.

Holiday treat

2010-12-25T18:43:00.001-08:00

Christmas train from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

An outing

2010-12-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

Chores done and time for an outing!

Unfortunately I lost half of my group during the drive to the beach. The dogs were all, "why are we just sitting here, watching the surfers? Let's go!"

So I let them out of the car. And my two dogs became fast friends with all the dogs around. Bruin can be a bit embarrassing in public, however. He has a bit of an attraction to male dogs. The first chance he gets, he is up on them. He always does it out of my voice range and it does fluster me, so the behavior hasn't been corrected properly. We need the dog whisper!
Or more leash usage.

North finally woke up and started playing in the dunes. He didn't like the grass brushing up on him as we walked through the more narrower of the trails. But we pretended that we were a train as he held onto my waist and shut his eyes. It helped.

Untitled from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

This is the best shot of Skyler from the day. I wonder if other parents have these photo struggles? On our last beach adventure, North was the one with all the bad shots. I don't know if it was his clothing colors contrasting with the ocean light, but I couldn't get anything that I liked.

Lots of sand and and a slope. Who needs a toy box?

Photo caption: Recharging. Or Car stretches. Take your pick.

Following our beach adventure, we went over to a former family of my preschool's house (what a decriptive phrase!) to watch the Lighted Trucker's Parade. The family throws a party every year and we will definitely be going back in the years to come.

Eureka Trucker Parade 2010 from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

North learned very quickly to cover his ears with each trucks' approach. Each parade entry tried to outdo the previous truck by honking "Jingle Bells" even louder. Next year, we will bring earmuffs!

A few days prior after coming home from his own adventure, Reed brought home chantrelle mushrooms for our dinner. Most delicious.

Lots of mushrooms and butter.

We ate a little bit with white beans, chicken, rosemary and garlic. The majority of the pot went into freezer bags. Mushroom season can be too short unless you know how to freeze the harvest!

Physical growth

2010-12-06T20:22:00.001-08:00

My second child is happy to give kisses these days. His physical expression of language is so beautiful to me. He loves to zoom hands for a favorite finger play song, he claps hands whenever applause is heard, makes a "wash hands" sign whenever we are near a sink and today he asked for medicine by sticking out his tongue and putting his finger in his mouth.

Sky is very physically intelligent as well: he kick-dribbles a ball, swings a golf club/bat, throws and rolls a ball. He climbs up into his chair as well as onto the top of the couch. He loves to turn light switches on and off whenever he can reach them. He and North play a game that North calls "Super Cars." They (loudly!) knock over the little wooden chairs and push them very fast all over the house. Sky gleefully copies his brother in whatever the action is in any given moment. If North gets attention for coughing; Skyler will loudly cough too. If North cries in frustration over an injustice, Sky will fall over, purposefully hit his head, and cry loudly.

I chose not to teach my kids sign language but rather to make our family communication strong and diverse. Will Skyler have as many words as North did at a young age? I don't know yet. The difference I see in my two boys is pretty striking already. North is very socially oriented. He needs to be part of a group, to move and make decisions based upon the group. I think North developed his verbal language skills to support those needs. Skyler, on the other hand, seems to be a bit more removed from the peer pressure. He is focused on his own explorations and movements. He learns new behaviors and actions from watching other people but then seems to turn inward to play out his own themes. It seems as though verbal language is just not where his brain is working these days.

Very interesting, this sibling stuff.

Article

2010-12-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

I am published!

HumMums is a free parenting zine printed every few months. I wrote about parent coop preschools as the feature article. Check out the printing. I always find something new to learn when I read HumMums.

In the defense of food: Michael Pollen

2010-12-02T21:09:00.001-08:00

Last night Reed and I went out to see Michael Pollen speak at the university. I was pretty impressed with what I heard.

He has a great speaking style, kind of like the favorite professor meets touring book author. Which I guess sums him up as he does teach at Berkley (I felt a little jealous when I read that; I always was satisfied with my college choice, but to have opportunities to learn from cool people like that every day? ....In my next life, I guess)

Anyhow, I enjoyed his talk. He mostly reviewed his written work while also touching on the manipulation of food labeling in relation to the current malnutrition that our Western diet commonly causes. My mom is really good at reading labels on processed food packages, so I have always had a good role model when choosing my food. However as I listened to Michael Pollen talk of the decades of false nutrition claims made by large snack/junk food corporations with no governmental regulation to weed out the lies, I was more then ready to head to my grocery store to bring home only the "quiet food".

As I listened, I reflected on how grateful I feel to have such a peaceful place such as the Co-op to shop for food. I still find food packages in that store that I will avoid because of suspicious health claims, but I would say that 70-90% of the food I or Reed take home is a whole food. Food that we chop or cook. The quiet foods like kale or grapes are the true walkers, I think. I would hate to walk the noisy maze of "whole wheat white bread!" or "Fish fat in the yogurt!" in a grocery on a weekly basis. To paraphrase Michael Pollen: the United States, the most unhealthiest country in the world, has given over to the processed food producers the sole ability to determine the nutrition of our daily meal.

He also talked a bit about the twisted relationship between commercial agriculture and obesity, but mostly focused on positive behaviors that one person can do to prevent poor health in a world that screams "buy my processed food-like substance, it's good for you!" He spoke of farmers markets that accept food stamps and the relationships that developed in the two communities that were commonly isolated from one another. He reminded us of the joys of seasonal food, waiting for strawberries in June or asparagus in the early spring. A part of the American health problem derives from a misconception that we have somehow earned the right to consume whatever, whenever, in large quantities, and at the cheapest price please.

One awareness that I gained from the lecture pertained to China. I hadn't given much thought about food grown in China until Michael Pollen began to speak of a student of his who worked with and interviewed several farmers living in China. These farmers were very casual about the meaning of organic food and were often claiming organic status yet farming on soils that were heavily polluted. So once again, I will be checking labels carefully. Garbage in, garbage out.

I love that we were able to partake in this experience at the same times as a large-scale food discussion comes up within our own government. The Obama administration has begun to clean up the neglect that our kids have suffered under federally funded lunch programs as well as finally give enforcement rights to the FDA to deal with corrupt food companies who sicken people with harmful products. I think time has proven that our culture of food has failed. 1 in 3 kids are currently obese or over-weight. I think we all need a little more regulation in our lives.

When has healthy food become a luxury item?

Hoop

2010-11-29T21:35:00.001-08:00

Nick Guzzardo // Hoopcamp 2010 from Sara Janssen on Vimeo.

Fun Shorts

2010-11-29T15:16:00.000-08:00

North's first movie: Is it a hit or miss? from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Skyler at Thanksgiving 2010 from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Thanksgiving vacation: Adventure to the Academy of Sciences

2010-11-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

BARTing to San Fransisco. Followed by a MUNI ride to the Museum of Science in Golden Gate Park.

Becoming familiar with public transportation is a skill that I think is very important. Mingling with the masses, knowing which side of the street takes a person to what destination, having correct change: so many behaviors that I can expose my children to and thus increase their knowledge of the different worlds all around them. (And skills I myself might need more practice with!)

We could have barreled down the freeway in our isolated space-pod, but how boring is that. My boys had an adventure.

Shh.

Don't tell them it was also a learning experience.

Yikes, not the most flattering picture of my mother. I hope she forgives easily!

Same namesake; but the child grows two years older.

North and Aunt Leslie spent most their museum time together. In this picture, they are looking at the rain forest dome.

Watching the sharks feed was the first thing North recounted to Reed when asked about his trip.

Both kids were enthralled by the numerous fish tanks. We may live next to the ocean, but to have such an intimate view of the behaviors of the under-sea creature is a treat. When Sky came to his first floor-to-ceiling tank, he grabbed at the fish, tried to kiss them, yelled and chattered to anyone standing near. He was in love.

We stayed to watch the divers in the coral reef.

Thank you Josh, for taking pictures on our trip. It was such a treat to be able to travel through many modes of transportation, tracking kids, snacks and diapers, yet knowing that the memories of our great day would still be recorded without having the added concern for my own camera tacked onto the days' movements. Thank you.

Fall colors for my tummy

2010-11-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

hachiya persimmons, cheddar cauliflower, red grapes, Jonagold apples, a leek, cranberries, green kale and purple kale, carrots, brussel sprouts, collard greens, butternut squash: all of the different types of brightly colored fall produce that made it into the grocery cart this week.

Messy art

2010-11-14T20:04:00.000-08:00

While researching for projects to do with my preschool class, I had an epiphany. I was a typical parent of a preschooler! I have been taking the easy way out when the boys and I did projects at home. Totally confined to the kitchen and the table, some exploration, but CERTAINLY not messy.

What kind of teacher am I anyway? Messy projects are the best way to learn!

So in appreciation of a sunny autumn day, North, Skyler and I took our art outside.

We painted the plastic climber. We also painted different sized balls and rolled them down the slide.

Skyler chased the chickens for awhile.

North discovered what water does to paper plates.

The idea with the cake pan was to hold the homemade bubble solution, but the boys decided that they would rather mix paint into it.

Painting/bubble play on a November afternoon from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Can cleaning up can be just as much fun as the creating? It is just as important...

One last project before bathtime.

This week my preschoolers from Woodside will mix glue and shaving cream as well as drop vinegar into a sensory table of baking soda. Bring on the messy clothes!

Adventure day

2010-11-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have been itching for a family bike ride since I got my bike two months ago. I can pull the boys in the bike trailer, but something was missing. The boys seemed so far away and Reed was always busy with his own plans.

Today turned out to be our big bike day.

But first North and I went on a solo adventure.

And before that, he had to have a cavity filled.

Augh! Bad Mommy! Especially because he doesn't like chocolate and we brush EVERY day. Very little juice and no candy, breastfeeding until 22 months. --- that darn dried fruit did him in!

Anyway, we go to the best pediatric dentist. We started seeing him when North turned 2. This cavity was our first voyage beyond the standard well teeth check-up.

The visit started out well. The dental assistant asked North which flavor of gas he would like to smell. I liked how she gave him control first thing into the visit. I was nervous about how North would react to the nitrous oxide gas, but the combination of oxygen to gas seemed perfect. He was calm, not giggly or silly. The dentist scraped away the bad parts of the tooth and filled it in, finishing it all up in a matter of minutes.

North sat in the chair like a champ. He was wiggly when the assistant sucked out his mouth, but he handled the rest of the procedure very well. A third women was holding his hands. Her job was to keep his hands away from his face, but as he felt so secure with his situation, I think her hand-holding added to his positive experience.

I was told not to explain too much to North about what was to happen in the office. However, he and I talked about what we were going to do after we went to the dentist' "for a little bit of work." I hope that he was thinking about eating bagels while under the knife. I know that I was able to keep my nervousness at bay because of our previous car ride chatter. In every visit, after being excused from the chair, he always chooses a red balloon. The staff is also very liberal with their toy treats and praise. I love that office.

After the dentist, North and I went to the mall for some bounce house play and then bought a Thanksgiving book and a waffle maker. We ate bagels and salad for lunch, then went on a horse and carriage ride through Old Town.

After naptime, Reed suggested a bike ride using the kid seats rather then the trailer. We loaded up the bikes, seats, and helmets. As it was about an hour or so before sunset, we drove to the Hammond Trail.

And then Skyler fell off the bike...

I was pedaling hard up the hill when I heard a loud crash. I can't even describe my emotions as I looked back to see the seat that held my child, laying on the trail behind me. Sky was upside down, covered up by the kid seat. I flew off my bike.

When first teaching preschool, I learned how check children over for injuries from an amazing teacher. Rather then move the kids out of the situation immediately, I would wait for the child move their own body parts. If the child didn't want to move their arm, then that area was to be focused on. Most importantly, I shouldn't let my excitability overcome the child's own sense of the accident. I was better able to gauge their pain level on its purest level if I wasn't influencing their emotions. I found that kids seemed calmer and were better able to move through their experience if I wasn't in the way.

So all of this helped me get through those first few moments after Skyler fell. Luckily, he was wearing a very sturdy helmet and the bike seat fully contained all of his body within the plastic frame. He scraped his hand, but no head wounds or broken bones.

We nursed beside the trail for a few moments as Reed checked over the seat and re-installed it. North hovered over his brother and gave him kisses. All four of us needed to calm down before we could resume our ride. Once we were ready, Skyler willingly got back into his seat. Yea for breastfeeding and emotional healing! Although on the ride back, I had to restrain my urge to reach back and hold onto Sky's seat.

But we made it back to the car. The boys ran through the parking lot puddles as Reed and I packed the bike stuff. Can you remember running through puddles as a child? Especially when you know you shouldn't? Both boys were so gleeful as they progressively got wetter and wetter. Sky had the biggest laugh, North ran and ran. The evening darkened past sunset.

But we all survived.

and yet more educational thoughts....

2010-11-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

I really need to do research on Sir Ted Robinson as he has been entering my awareness from all kinds of different angles lately.

His words resonate so strongly with my hazy, not-yet gelled gut feelings about the types of formal education my children should receive.

The current cultural mindsets, the inconsistencies of cognitive stimulation; his words don't quite sum up all my own thinking regarding formal education. Rather, his speeches on education remind me to stay current on the educational choices. To make myself more educated about the philosophies and goals of the current system.

I need to keep thinking about this more. I refuse to follow the current model just to be a sheep leading more sheep. I see positive points in our current public/private school model ( and to say that a family should be loyal just because our country provides for all kids is not a positive point - when our country can provide for all EQUALLY, then I will feel pride towards our schooling.) However, I also refuse to expect and therefore educate my children, by pushing them onto the fast track into college.

I remember the summer after my senior year of high school in which I was adamant I was not going to college. For the most part my feelings were about rebellion and a personal response towards major transitions, but what if I had followed through with walking away? My life path would have been certainly been lost. I had no other goals or strengths at that time. I would have certainly floundered. That in itself was not inherently bad, but without any other positive direction being present in my life (yes, I understand that I was very fortunate to be directed into a college path), who could have said I wouldn't have turned to drugs or other life de-railers?

The point being for me is that I want my kids to choose their own adventures. Whatever way it takes they will see life for all its options. I hope that they can embrace life not as a linear path, but cobweb of choices. Some directions they will choose and then sometimes other paths will take them into opportunities to embrace and learn from.

My kids will be given the tools to succeed and fail. When they fail, I hope that I will have taught them to take a moment to look around and appreciate the space they have fallen into. And then they will stand back up again.

Divergent thinking. I am totally into that.

Halloween Weekend

2010-10-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

Friday my mom took North on an adventure in her race car. (All cars are race cars except mine and Reed's.) She took him to the park, the Discovery museum, talked with the driver who does horse and carriage rides, ate bagels for lunch and rode the carousel. They did all this and were only an hour late for nap! I was impressed.

Friday evening we carved pumpkins.

Sky was just a little excited about getting to stand on top of our table.

Both boys colored their little pumpkins while Mom and I carved the big ones.

Sky played the harmonica a little too. It is good to have mood music.

Saturday morning, North and I rode my bike (North in the attached seat) over to a birthday party of a school friend. It was a fantastic costume party at Redwood Raks. Very cool. While we were there, Mom and Skyler went to the Farmers Market, browsed the Plaza stores and bought peanut butter from the Coo-op. She must go the the Co-op each time she visits. It is an obsession.

We played at Trinidad State Beach. Going to the ocean is another requirement of a Mom visit.

We don't usually bring toys to the beach. North is really good at finding seaweed ropes and shells. He also loves digging big holes with his hands. He is becoming a great rock climber with a great strength and body awareness.

Sunday morning Reed joined us for "Boo at the Zoo." Kids in costumes, fun activities, and animals looking inside hollow pumpkins for treats: I love living up here. There is no shortage of amazing activities for families to do together.

The goats in the barnyard kept head-butting Skyler. I think the animals were confused by his big ears and long white coat.

After a nap and dinner, we drove over to the Community Center for a Halloween Carnival. North was really into the games this year. There were lots of kids around which meant some waiting times, but North was patient.

Participating in the cookie walk.

Sky couldn't understand why North won a cookie. After winning North stopping playing the game, but Sky and I stayed in. Twice, the music stopped with Sky and I right by the cookie table. He wanted a cookie like his brother! How do you explain the rules of a cake walk to a 15 month old? Luckily North was not into his cookie after the first bite and so was happy to share his prize with Sky. Whew. I was tired of walking around in circles.

This was the first year we tried door-to-door trick or treating. The boys got into the idea VERY quickly. The first few houses, I had to stop Sky from going into each house. Logically, I had to agree with him. Why should he accept treats and not go inside for a visit? It is polite, after all. After a few houses, he really got the idea and would race up the walkways to bang on the door with his brother.

No lack of self-confidence from these kids tonight.

October

2010-10-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

Fire District Open House

Bike rides through the forest and beside the ocean.

A poultry CSA is beginning and was harvesting ducks behind a barn at the pumpkin patch. We peeked in (they use a really awesome mobile processing trailer that is rented out to each farmer) and asked a ton of questions. Who knew that kosher killing was still so brutal? On the flip side, at least the ducks get to hang out in an air conditioned car quietly quacking their qoncerns.

Apple stand stock-up.
I learned the difference between a box and a lug. We brought cider home to freeze and apples to cook into applesauce.

Bring on the artists! Creativity is strong and growing by the day.

n
Coast Guard Open House. Climbing through boats, helicopters, ambulances and knot tying for pre-schoolers.

"Pumpkin stew, pumpkin stew. What do you put in your pumpkin stew?"

( I sing the song with my preschool classes. The kids have some hilarious ideas)

"Potatoes!"

"Chop, chop, chop. Drop, drop, drop!"

"Sip it, sip it, Yummy!"

Halloween cookies

2010-10-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

lectures

2010-10-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

I love listening to lectures.

Not the boring sitting in a deck chair, "get me through this class so I can graduate" kind of brain dump, but the thought provoking insights that one can get only from a person speaking from within the wind of their own passions.

Here are a few I have experienced recently:

Last weekend I took the kids down to Ft. Bragg to see a friend and her new baby. I had such a great time with her and her kids (North can skateboard now!) On the way back I took Highway 20 to 101. I usually go up through Highway 1 but the route is scary isolated and so much more twisty, curvey. I think I will be choosing the 20 from now on.

Anyway back to the point, as the kids were asleep, I took the opportunity to listen to the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. He was a virtual reality computer scientist who was given only months to live after being diagnosted with pancriatic cancer in 2007. Shortly after the dignosis, he was also asked to participate in a lecture series at Carnegie University. He titled his talk, "Achieving your Life Dreams." Did I mention that he had three small children at the time? 5 years old, 3 years old, and 1; these kids needed his lecture as much as he did.

It was a beautiful piece of work.

I also try to listen to Humankind on the radio a few afternoons a week. It is a program that explores different concepts with the unifying themes of hope, community, and the insightful ideas that can only come from seeing another person's perspective.

* Post note *

I started working on this post last night, but my thought process was broken by the ringing of a baby alarm clock. Sky starts out his nighttime sleeping in a crib most every night. However, every night, he will wake up at 10pm. Right at 10! Sometimes a minute or two early, sometimes 15 minutes late. It is really amusing. Reed has tried to soothe him back into sleep, but Sky only wants nursing. Although I would love to be free and check my baby at the door, I go along with his needs. It is too important to me not to react. So I apologize for the shoddy editing if you caught the post that wasn't meant to be posted. All is well now.

Summertime in the Fall

2010-10-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

Class trip to the pumpkin patch

2010-10-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today North skipped school and with Skyler and Reed met myself and the Woodside preschool class at the pumpkin patch.

I always feel nervous before the first field trip of the year. I don't know how the class as a whole will behave, how helpful the parents will be, if I have remembered all the drinks, extra clothes, emergency forms that make up the large bag I carry with me. Today things went well. The kids were so well behaved. I always knew I had a great class this year, taking them on this trip has solidified my feelings about them. The kids listened well, found their pumpkins with the utmost care and participated in the weighing and measurement project. It was a great day.

We walked through a short corn maze before reaching the pumpkins. Our guide pointed out butterfly cocoons and stinging nettles on our way.

Snack time with our pumpkins.

Doesn't North look like a little preschooler? I swear, from the first day we took him to his school, he has matured into this whole new, older person. He articulates his ideas differently and forms elaborate thoughts about a world that he sees. He loves, LOVES his teacher ( I can tell him that Jillian won't let him go to school if he doesn't...fill in the blank..... I love doing that.) But I haven't been sure about his understanding of me working as a teacher. He told today at bedtime that he knew that I was teaching preschoolers and I had invited him to attend our field trip, so the understanding is mostly there.

After the pumpkins, we had a little extra time before noon, so I called ahead to have the horse carousel opened early at the local car dealership. Most of the kids had ridden before with their families, but I still felt concern about the speed of the ride. I made sure each child was paired up with a standing adult next to their horse. No flying kids on my watch! Reed got a kick out of his conversations with the kids sitting with him on the bench. The yellow bench seats are good for the few kids that feel nervous. Once the ride had been going for awhile, these two kids perked back up and were all smiles. What a field trip; bravery and pumpkins all on one day.

Lists, lists, lists

2010-09-29T21:54:00.000-07:00

The best place for creative list making is in the nursing chair up in the boys sleeping room. The room is dark and quiet. Good hormones flow out of my body as Sky nurses himself to sleep. My mind works away without distraction.

Now if only I could write those ideas down without disturbing the mood of the room. Having a successful naptime each day is on the list, right?

I need to type up a few weeks worth of curriculum planning for the preschool. My class is going to the pumpkin patch soon. We will weigh and measure different sizes of pumpkins while at the patch, but the possibilities are endless regarding the activities back in the classroom. Gotta write down all that armchair brainstorming before it wanders off.

Lots of fall closure things to accomplish. Cleaning the fish tank is huge. A huge job and a huge priority. Calling for a chimney sweep is right up there also. Our house is just a rental so I can pretend like I don't see the ugly walls crying out for new paint. I oiled the cupboards and front door; I really wish I could repaint those as well. Some firewood has been dropped off, now it needs to be stacked. The chicken coop never got repainted, but it needs cleaning again. And then there is the dilemma with the lone duck. Should we keep her or eat her?

North's final tuition payment is coming due and I also need to change our health insurance plans. North and Skyler have a dentist appointment scheduled for next month, and the dogs and cats are now current on their vaccines. Yikes, how do families with with multiple kids and animals keep up? I need to be like my grandma and designate a medical month for all upkeep appointments.

I accept that I am a detailed person, but I am not an organized person. I stray, I wander. The bills get paid on time but not always on the exact day as the month prior. My children are well-fed, but their clothes are often wrinkly. I hate feeling as though I am doing sometime at the last minute, yet find myself procrastinating yet again.

Self -discipline is hard.

North's birthday party

2010-09-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

All set up and ready for friends to share the event. The day started off foggy, but cleared up. I am glad I snagged the canopy to use! I wanted to ask everyone to bring their own tableware in addition to a food dish to share, but I was out-voted. I settled for bringing a compost bucket and a box to hold burnable trash, in addition to a very small trash can. With no gift wrapping to discard, we walked away from the event with a very small amount of garbage. For the next party I will move toward having an even smaller footprint...

I spread out blankets for people to sit on while eating lunch. It was like a big picnic. I cooked beans and brought tortillas and pico de gallo. My friend made rice and other people brought fruit, veggies and breads. It was a tasty spread of homemade food.

Last year I made North a birthday crown on his birthday. This year I will do the same, but thought that it would be fun for the rest of the kids to make as well while at the party.

Pony ride!

This is my running partner's son. I hope she is alright with the posting this, I love his expression! He is maturing into an amazing person. I am thankful for the privilege to watch him grow.

Pinata!
I think North was more into this party game then the pony and cart. He got so excited when we brought it home to stuff with treats. Before the party, I talked to him about the idea that the other kids got to hit the pinata and he would need to share all the treats inside. With it all lined out for him, he did really well sharing.

Looking for the loot.

I forgot to give Sky a chance to swing the bat. He must have been watching intently because when he realized that we were all done with it, he lurched out of my arms towards the pinata. He didn't seem to mind that it was empty and mangled.

And so ends the pictures. After the pinata I realized that we needed to move onto the cake. We sang to North and ate cake and ice cream. The cake was pretty cool. North wanted to have a shark on the top.

We cleaned up, packed up and headed home. North never took a nap, but Sky rested for about an hour. Reed and the boys played in the yard and I went on a short bike ride ( I was way overstimulated from the party). We ate scrambled egg burritos and fruit and yogurt for dinner. The kids went to bed early.

And so ended our first birthday party day.

Family time

2010-09-25T13:57:00.001-07:00

First roller skate ride

2010-09-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

First roller skate ride from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

North rides!

2010-09-25T08:33:00.001-07:00

Bike riding at home from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Preparing for rollar skating

2010-09-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

Untitled from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Soon I will....

2010-09-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

...post a video of North singing his good-by song from preschool. Every night at dinner, I ask North what he did at school. He says, "we sang this song...," followed by singing the entire song. Every night he does this! Once we get through that ritual, he will then list the highlights from the morning. Many evenings after the kids' bath and bed, I find myself humming the tune. It is rather catchy.

....post pictures of the boys riding in our bike trailer. My neighbor offered to give me her trailer and coupled with a personal desire to have some solo bike riding down the coastline and through the forests, I bought a new bike. I haven't owned a bike in 10 years! I brought a bike up with me to college when I first moved up here, but have you seen the hills around this place? I just didn't have the thigh muscles after growing up in the Central Valley. I wimped out and stuck with hiking as my physical recreation. Now many years later, I am ready to tackle the landscape and join with the many bikers around here.

....relax in bed tomorrow morning! I worked an extra day this week and am exhausted. Who knew returning to work part-time would be such a juggling act? I am looking to being a stay-at-home mama tomorrow. Skyler and I will cuddle and nurse. North and I can do a project or two. My time will be my kids time.

This and that.

2010-09-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

North put a raisin up his nose today. And just like that, we have arrived to a new phase of childhood and parenting . I am a bit surprised, really. I thought Sky would have been the first one to try something like that.

Two kids begun their first preschool experience in my class today. They both did really well, which is a relief to me as the class as a whole has such a positive attitude that I was slightly concerned about the changing dynamic. I am still so excited to go to work each day, I love teaching. It is a bit exhausting though.

I ran with my friend Monday morning before Reed went to work. We had gotten out of our routine and it was time to begin running again. The mornings are so much darker! I hope we can get in a good number of runs before the rains begin. I have one more reason to run since I went to the grocery store and discovered that a local dairy now not only offers non-homogenized organic whole milk, but in a chocolate favor too! I really don't like buying lowfat/nonfat milk, so this is a great additional treat. All the more reason to get up early to run!

North and I put his birthday invitations into his classmates cubbies at school on Monday. He helped me match the names on the cubby to the name on the envelope. Most of the cubbies also have pictures of the child hung up so we both could put a face to a name. It was fun. But North was very adamant that he needed a letter as well. I tried to explain the hosting of the party idea and therefore not needing an invitation, but I don't think my explanation was very successful. Soon I will get a pinata from the Mexican market and round up some tables and chairs. The mini horse lady came through ( I talked her out of attending a second day of a weekend festival, hehehe) and my friend is starting work on a personalized cape that I will give as a gift.

I wasn't really into throwing big birthday parties for little kids until now. North is very much a part of our party planning so I guess the third birthday is a good place to start this party business. I feel really low key about it. Things will work out as they need to, so the stress is non-existent so far. Friends meeting at the park for a weekend potluck lunch. A pinata and a pony pulling a cart, the expense has been pretty minimal. I think we might even get home in time for naptime.

Last year at birthday time, Reed and I each gave North a book in which we wrote an inscription to North about our hopes for his upcoming year. I decided that I didn't want to start the idea with Sky on his 1st birthday, but each year after 1, for each child, we will continue the tradition. Reed found a book called, "My first bow." I haven't found a book to give to North yet. How in the world do I match a book like Reed's? North is going to love it!

I heard a baby crying and crying and crying while in Target today. The baby sounded so desperate. I went to the checkout line at the same time as the parents and I wanted to walk up to the woman to offer to hold her baby. As I tried not to watch (but was horrified all the same), she would randomly push a pacifier into his mouth, but really wasn't engaging the baby any further. While I certainly have had times that I have finished up my task before comforting my own children, I couldn't help but weep for this baby as I tried to flee the store to get away from his cries. Both parents seemed so disconnected from their newborn baby. It wasn't a slight cry either. His voice became hoarse and panicky as his parents continued to ignore the obvious cry from inside the baby bucket. Why don't people understand how important respect is during the early years of child growth? How can more people be educated as to basic baby care? Children such as this baby shouldn't be treated so inhumanely. Negativity can be stored in young brains, thus setting up the potential to repeat an abusive cycle. How will this family treat their child as he grows older? How can I help more families understand importance of this basic parenting behavior? How can I find the guts to walk up to such families?

Skyler at 13 months

2010-09-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

Background knowledge: Sky runs into a lot of things thus causing him to fall down to the ground. He also gets knocked down by the dogs or his brother often.

During diaper changes, I have been playing the "where's your..?" game with Skyler. He gets the nose and the toes and the belly, but when I ask him where his head is, he points and says, "Bonk".

He doesn't have a head, he has a bonk.

One week later

2010-09-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Our family is in the middle of a transition and I feel that everyone is doing great.

North has attended his preschool four days now and he still wants to go to school each morning. Reed and I haven't spent much time with North at his school. I am still amazed at how well to took to the idea of "his school" and so I haven't wanted to push the idea that the rest of us can visit at times too. But I come from a history of parent involvement. I don't really know what North does in his school day and that bugs me. Next week I plan to take more time and spend a bit of the morning together before I leave. Does he have any favorite parts of the classroom? He has mentioned the large blocks often and a frog play area, I am curious about his interests.

His preschool class has two circle times. North thinks this is great, his teacher reported that he takes the opportunity with everyone else sitting to show off some of his funny moves. He is getting the point of circle time although I know he is thinking, "What? Someone else gets to talk and share ideas?

At the school, Snack is served as free choice and isn't offered until everyone is playing outside. The first few days, he wouldn't break away from his play to eat. The result was a crazy meltdown at our house after school. I talked with his teacher about helping him "find" the snack table (a primary goal at this school is independent choice and self-sufficiency, so the teachers will never make him eat) and the week smoothed out after that.

Sky has really been enjoying his extra time with Reed. Reed had the kids for three days straight so that I could really focus on getting the Woodside classroom together in preparation for opening next week. He takes North to school, then comes home to play music with Skyler. Very often whenever Reed leaves the door to the gear room open, Sky will run inside and play Reed's guitar. To now have the music time only with Dad, not to share with brother, must feel very special to Sky.

Sky is also adjusting his naps away from a morning nap. This is a little inconvenient as the driving North to and from school causes Sky to fall asleep in the car. I turned his carseat around last week because of this. It was earlier then I had planned, but it helps a little with the car drowsiness.

Skyler also really wants to nurse to sleep when naptime or nightime arrives. Reed has had luck with a sippy cup of milk, but sometimes it only serves to wind the kid up! The first time I was gone most of the day, I came home around 3:00pm to find Sky running around the house. Two minutes at the breast and he crashed into sleep for a long time, comforted and secure. The transition to cow milk will be successful and Sky will adjust to other ways to get to sleep soon. He is older and more comfortable with change, but I feel a little sad with this new sign of toddlerhood. I am so grateful I was able to find the support in this community and my family to continue nursing. My children have flourished in so many ways, going far beyond the basic need getting the best nutrition.

I am feeling so happy with going back to work. I couldn't ask for a better child care situation, my oldest is happy in his preschol and the youngest is a strong, healthy toddler in the care of his loving parent. (And Reed picked up the house this week! I was so impressed, learning to handle the choas of the kids and washing the dishes? Who would have known?!) The second full day back, the director of Woodside and I had a solid day of preparing for a Parent Orientation meeting. I needed to take a break to nurse Sky even if it meant driving home 20 minutes one way just to see him for 15. As it was, he passed out after nursing so fast, that I was only able to nurse him on one side. I was so hard and sore when I got home at 9 that night. Most nights, I wait for him to wake in his crib before moving him into our big bed, but that night I took him to bed immediately. He barely woke up, but cleared out the milk efficiently. Score one for the co-sleeper. In fact, during those days when I did not see Skyler much during the day, it was the night parenting that was the best. Cuddling and sleeping together is one of my favorite things about parenting. Everything is perfect at night.

And now today is Friday. My plan is to leave our Fridays wide open. North will not attend school and Reed works. Today, North watched "Word World" on PBS while Sky and I enjoyed an extended nurse-n-cuddle. We all gardened in the sun. I tentatively made plans with a friend to go to the river after nap, but the wind cooled things down too quickly. Reed barbecued venison when he got home, the kids played in the empty laundry bucket while he and I lingered at the dinner table.

I know things will be rough at certain times in the upcoming year. I won't focus on that, nor will I over-analyze the prevention of periods of tension. But I have so much more wisdom after two years out of the workforce. My boundaries between work and home will be stronger. I have a beautiful family to come home to, so I will let my work energy dissipate as I make my commute.

Patience is a muscle. Little kids need lots of patience in their lives to be healthy. I have to be patient if I am going to be an effective preschool teacher. I am going back to work so that I will be stronger for my kids. I am grateful for being able to choose this path.

Preschool

2010-08-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

Pictures before leaving for the day. It was so easy to move North through the morning.

"North, first you must eat all your oatmeal, then you go to school. "North, first you brush your teeth and wipe your face, then you go to school." "First you go potty, then you go to school." It was lovely.

I wonder how long I can use school as an excuse to complete tasks?

My child refuses to consistently smile for pictures. Luckily he has an older cousin who has gone through this phase, so I have hope for the future.

Five minutes in and he is already telling the teacher "no." Yikes.

Skyler and I picked up our veggies share from Eddie's farm while North was at preschool. I think strawberries are a perfect reward for such a good day at school. No tears, no fears, and he even sat at circle time! We will work on the "yes-ing" later.

Orientation day

2010-08-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

Today was orientation day for North's preschool. This evening I went to meet the other parents and hear about the practices and policies of the school. Earlier in the day, North and I (with Skyler) spent 1/2 hour in the classroom meeting his teacher and picking out a cubby.

I feel a little emotional about this.

This is my kid going off to school, preschool, the age in which I consider kids to be grown-up enough to be in the care of other adults. As I listened to the teacher list off the ways that crying kids are helped and comforted, all I could think was, "you are going to let my kid cry and not call me back in?"

So not the attitude I had when I was a kid-less teacher myself. I was of the "push the parents out the door and their kids will work it all out'" branch of teachers.

I am not worried about North's interactions with other kids (although he did use the Tiger Claw this morning when another child moved his blocks) or his ability to communicate with others. What I feel is a impending emptiness in the space in which he has occupied for the past 2 1/2 years, next to me every second of the day. I know what I feel is normal and will soon be resolved. Maybe I might even transition into "what! Summer vacation already?" but give me a moment to mourn.

Part of the memory surge comes from the location of his school. The CDL is part of the greater college campus. This evening, before the orientation meeting, Reed and I switched kids and cars. I used the bathroom in one of the college buildings and as I sat I reflected on the quietness of the moment.

I was alone.

No toddler perched on my knee, no telling North not to touch anything or "yes, I have enough paper, thank you anyway." Could I take a moment to pretend to be a college student again?

At that time, I just wanted to be finished with my degree so I could live on my own time. No more committee meetings, papers or trying to fit work hours in. I was so tired of sitting and listening to talk, talk, talk. I wanted to live a greater, more practical life. As time went on and I graduated, much was achieved on a fairly predictable path with greater confidence and wisdom learned from experiences that a classroom can never teach.

But, I do miss that quiet mind. I was an open, dark space, eager for all kinds of information. Now as I try to remember whether the kids have eaten all the food groups and "did I brush both kids teeth today?" and "rats, we are out of honey again", I feel as if I am battling schizophrenia. (Note to my parents: I am TOTALLY healthy!)

And now North is on the campus as a student of his own school. A school in which as a HSU student I thought was boring to work at (the kids didn't have many behavior issues), but now as a parent I have a greater appreciation for. North will be surrounded by very well-educated head teachers and a fleet of college students who will be under the watchful eye of some of my previous college professors. I couldn't ask for a better educational situation.

But I just might be calling up my mom after I walk out that door next week as I leave North.

Solo dancer

2010-08-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

The night I called my father out from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Pictures from the river and a farmhouse hoedown

2010-08-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Day at the Fair

2010-08-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

First we said goodbye to Reed's Jeep.

At the fair we walked over to the animals first. My child climbed the fences in his excitement to see.

North was fascinated by the twin baby goats nursing. Those babies were rough! It made me hurt!

Good old fashioned turkey racing. At one point, the remote-control truck hit a turkey and knocked a pile of feed loose. The turkeys stopped running after the truck and focused in on the pile on the ground. Race over!

So we found some real races. Horse racing!

While watching the horses warm up, Reed picked out the winning horse. I wonder what the odds were on that horse. We could have won a pile of money...

Whooping cough vaccination. North was impressed by my bravery.

Both North and Sky loved the big slide. And then North spotted a little kids roller coaster. He said he was ready to ride it. In retrospect, I think he thought Reed was going to ride with him because as Reed snapped North into the train car and the ride started, North freaked. Luckily the ride operator was really good about watching for situations like this and stopped the ride. North was very relived to be off the ride and diplomatic about his nervousness. He sat in the stroller for a bit and watched Sky and Reed go down the slide.

The kid obstacle course and a carousal ride renewed his confidence.

We finished off our fair day with some tractor play. I think my boys need a tractor to play on. Can I find a broken one on Craigslist?

Body awareness

2010-08-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

Sky loves to tickle and be tickled. It can be very cute when he leans over to tickle person's neck or to pet the dog. He usually will giggle and chatter as he does it. However, last week Sky developed an infection involving his foreskin. It cleared up very quickly with some antibiotic ointment and 24 hours after I noticed the problem he was back to normal. But because of all the extra attention focused on that site, he has penis awareness big time. Now when we change his diaper, he reaches his hand down to his penis and says, "tickle, tickle!"

North has been very confused about how I pee. He knows that I don't have a penis like him, his dad and brother do yet somehow I am still able to pee. At the river a few days ago he went with me to the bushes and as I squatted down he studied the action very seriously. A few seconds later he announced with much joy, "Oh, there is the other hole!"

A few nights ago, North and Reed were in the bathroom. North was very sleepy as he sat on the potty. He reached his hand down... and felt something new. Reed tells the story best, but I will do my best to try to recreate the moment.

Fully awake now, North looked at his dad with a startled expression.
"What are these?!" followed closely by "what are they for?"and then "and what do they do?" Reed ran through different scenarios in his head involving the explanation of testicles, their function and sperm creation. Finally he just said, "Those are your testicles. Be very careful with them because they are sensitive." North poked and pulled, prodded and examined them before he decided that they passed inspection and could remain. I don't know how he missed this body part before.

Birthday gift

2010-08-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the gift Aunt Leslie! from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

A Redwood Wedding, A Bay-side Reception

2010-08-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

North rather liked the bubbles at the end of the wedding ceremony. He patiently waited throughout the vows before blowing them (granted the tube was hidden in Reed's pocket. It made the waiting easier, being out of sight! )

We all liked the dancing at the reception. North didn't understand why we had to stop when it was time for the money dance. I asked him if he wanted to dance with the bride, he said yes so Reed gave him some money and off he went. What a funny concept the money dance is: I can't say I am totally cool with it.

After a bit more dancing, it was time to cool off on the deck.

It was late, but the kids kept going! I think they would have danced until they crashed, but I don't parent like that. We leave (or try to, most times) before the melt-down no matter how much fun the adults are having. Maybe one day we will get to stay out past dark!

Sibling Play

2010-08-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

Iko, Iko from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

Monkey brain

2010-07-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Signed a contract with Woodside yesterday. No going backwards now, the transition has begun.

Sky walks about 50%, speed crawls rest of time. Climbing is high up on the daily activities too. I have caught him up on shelves, the small art/snack table, and on chairs.

Technology continues to baffle me. Why can't all my electronics get along with each other and me? Is it unrealistic to expect that ignoring the pace of technological development until needed is a good strategy?

The sickness has ended. Sky still has a red spot on his finger from a lingering blister. Both kids emerged from the HFM virus with only a fever, crankiness, and a half a dozen blisters. Talking to friends whose kids have had the virus, I realize that we were very lucky. One friend's husband got sores in his mouth right in the middle of the Thanksgiving holiday. Another man called it "the new chicken pox". Whatever is is, I am glad to be through it.

Quiet time still eludes me. I get distracted by projects and adventures. I enjoy time in the forest and on the beach with my kids and dogs, but the time is far from meditative. I could be using the time in the evening but the computer and t.v. suck me in. I think I will try a class.

Camping with girlfriends, hundreds of kids and dogs at the sunny river is in my future! More blueberry picking is needed, more bike riding for North, more gardening and running with friends in the early morning fog. I love being outside in the summer....

2010-07-27T21:03:00.000-07:00

Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call the "monkey mind" - the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl. From the distant past to the unknowable future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined. This in itself is not necessarily a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking. Happy thoughts make me happy, but--whoop!--how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and then it's the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot and pissed off all over again; and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself. and loneliness follows promptly. You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.

The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment. It's something like the habit of my dear friend Susan, who--whenever she sees a beautiful pace--exclaims in near panic, "it's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!" and it takes all of my persuasive powers to try to convince her that she is already here. If you're looking for union with the divine, this kind of forward/backward whirling is a problem. There's a reason they call God a presence--because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.

--Elizabeth Gilbert "eat pray love"

The Not-San Diego trip

2010-07-22T09:37:00.001-07:00

Sometimes no matter how perfect the planning is, life moves in a different direction then one plans for.

On Tuesday, the boys and I were to fly to San Diego for a few days of visiting family. I also wanted to take the kids to the waterfront and see the big ships. It would be my first time traveling with them through airplane layovers and big city traffic. I felt excited and up for the challenge. The trip was meant to be a great start to a lifetime of traveling that I wanted to expose my kids to.

But after perfect packing ( I didn't forget a THING, and I even ironed!), we were blocked by the hazards of airplane travel.

Or should I say, flying out of Arcata and into SFO. Both very foggy airports.

Our flight out was delayed because of foggy conditions in SFO, thus causing my connecting flight to be missed. All afternoon flights into S.D were full. The United check-in person offered to re-book our connecting flight through Carlsbad (Northern San Diego county) by 6:00pm. I decided to take that option even though it meant another connecting flight through LA.

However, when I went over to the car rental counter to change my rental time/pick-up location I was told that dropping the car off at the different location of San Diego Airport (where my departing flight was) wouldn't work.

After calling my cousin, I decided to cancel the whole trip.

Kim could have picked us up in Northern San Diego and driven us to the main airport to pick up the car rental. But the breaking straw for me was the amount of time we would be in traffic. I could have managed the long layovers. But to ask the kids to be in the car for hours afterward: I couldn't do that.

So we went home. I was trying to be really positive and so the remaining part of the day was great. While the kids took a nap I called the airline and negotiated the return of the cancellation fee. The total amount spent on our tickets will now be spent on a trip to Hawaii in February to see our friends get married, so no money will be lost in the long run.

But, bummer! I was really looking forward to this!

Life is good.

2010-07-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

So I have been pretty quiet on the computer lately. Part of the reason is the wonderful weather we have been enjoying. The kids and I have been in the yard digging, riding wheely-things, getting wet, swinging, getting dirty. All things that are best enjoyed in the summer.

Living with a two year old and a pre-verbal toddler is not quiet. North has TONS of ideas and verbal sparring to do as Skyler chimes in whenever he spots a break in the noise. By the time the kids are in bed, I just want silence. Including from myself.

I have been doing a lot of reading online. Nothing research oriented, just browsey stuff. I have enjoyed thinking about the power of bacteria and the influences on our bodies as read in these two different articles.

Skyler and North have been a joy. Sky is taking steps here and there. He will walk across a room partway, then fall down to his knees to quickly crawl to his destination. Today I caught him in the laundry room up on top of the second shelf, eating dry cat food. I guess our house needs more baby-proofing! I am continuously amazed by his climbing skills.

North, Reed and I have been experimenting with North's bedtime time. North has been taking long afternoon naps as Sky has been shortening his own naps. Sky desperately wants to go to sleep by 6:00, North was not so ready.

So following North's lead one night as he announced that he was feeling tired and ready for Sleepytime at 8:30, we changed the hard, fast bedtime to a flexible, North-led decision. The goal is to help North understand the cues his body gives him regarding a need to sleep. Rather then struggle with keeping North in bed to have him quietly, yet painfully endure hours of wakefulness, I choose to validate his needs.

My big concern was that I wouldn't get my quiet time. But as the summer evenings linger on, Reed and North have found plenty to do without me. North goes out in the field with Reed when practicing with his bow, they go on short walks. It really has opened up an opportunity for kid-time that normally would be hidden from Reed because of his working all day. North soaks up the extra Daddy-time.

However, in order for this to work happily for all involved, I reserve the right to call it a night.

North understands that if he is whiny or grumpy, he gets sent to bed. I verbally identify what behaviors I see in him so that he can learn to recognize his own body cues.

We are giving this time. Maybe it will only work this summer. Maybe it is only working because Sky is cutting his last teeth and therefore sleeps less during the day.

I don't know.

The point is that I parent with my kids. Not as a friend, but not as a Soviet dictator.

Life is good.

Skyler turns 1

2010-07-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

Facebook

2010-07-16T21:39:00.001-07:00

Mom, there are pictures of Fern Canyon on Facebook. Just in case you were interested.

Baseball game

2010-07-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, a friend was playing baseball in the afternoon.

So we went to watch the game with his family.

"Hey you dapper-looking man. Want to come home with me?"
(wink, wink)
"Oh fine. Your baby can come with you!"

He does make some beautiful kids.

Running the bases after the game with a friend.

Because 2 year olds never run out of energy.

2010-07-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

Both kids love this shopping cart. North once went for a walk around the neighborhood with the cart loaded with toys. ...I hope he hasn't mapped out his future yet...

Sunday evening, we watched Reed light fireworks in our private cul-de-sac. The show was nice, but CA fireworks are so boring! Next year we will go to Oregon, nothing like seeing people shoot cannons and mortars from their shoulders to show patriotism. Watch out enemy terrorists, we have illegal fireworks!

On that note, here is my dear husband willingly posing before he whacks the head off Baby Rooster. Our two roosters got along for over a year, but their relationship finally sucumbed to excessive testosterone. I caught Baby Rooster holding Big Rooster down as he ripped out the elder's crown. Big Rooster recovered in a cage on my dryer for a few days as Baby Rooster lived out his final days. We choose to keep Big Rooster because he is a very mellow rooster with no inclination to chase kids or dogs.

Baby Rooster was also a rapist. He would fly across the yard to pin down a hen, do his thing, and flutter away all in a matter of seconds. Reed's dad watched the show once while visiting. His comment: "Damm, I would get arrested for doing that!"

Chicken soup is on the menu for this week. Revenge is sweet.

Sky's first time putting his toes in the water. We went to the beach after going to the Fish Festival with Reed's uncle.

Picture from the Trinidad Museum of a past lighthouse built off the head. Would you be nervous?

Carved eel hook for catching eel out of the Klamath. A friend of Reed's has been with some Natives' as they were fishing for the eel. He says it was intense and very cool.

Barbecuing salmon. No farmed, dyed fish here!

Sunday

2010-07-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

We lucked out with parking and got a spot right next to the ball field.

The Plaza had food, kids games and crafts, live music, African dancing, cool vendors. And the weather was warm!

The best dessert ever! Shaved fruit frozen in juice. It was better then ice cream or a smoothie.

All four of us rode on an old fire engine. We sat near the front, Sky sat on the hose. He loved the speed!

After a while, we went to the baseball game. Rather then brave the bleachers, we brought a blanket and spread out on the grass. Much nicer then bleachers.

Did I mention it was hot?

Bath time poetry

2010-06-30T21:52:00.001-07:00

One gets wet
when bathing two.

Nighttime visitors

2010-06-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I woke up to hear Reed saying in a really deep voice, "Go away bear, go away".

I looked out the window to see my husband standing on the deck, sans clothing might I add, holding a flashlight beam into the eyes of a female bear.

Reed had woken up and gone outside to check on the noises in the backyard near the chicken coop. the mama bear and her cubs (3!) had smelled the compost I left out for the chickens and had come into the yard to investigate. The mama bear was not in with the chickens, she was on the outside telling her cubs to get out.

Reed and the dogs chased them away, but about 10 minutes later the smell of the old fish I cleaned out of the refrigerator called them back. Basil went after the mama bear, getting in between her and the babies, so Reed had to get really tough.

By now Sky had woken up and added his voice to the mix. His words sounded just like his dad's only in baby garble!

The four bears eventually wandered away after knocking over the chicken fence and our neighbor's fence. After the kids wake up from the afteroon nap, I am going to walk over to their house and apologize. Our chickens were totally silent during the whole incident. Two roosters and none of them wanted to take on a bear!

Lesson learned: no compost for the chickens until the bears move on. They looked very well-fed too. How common is it for a mama to have triplets? We had thought that a reason we haven't been seeing any bucks around our house this summer was because of all the poaching, but maybe the bear family living behind us in the woods caused the deer to move away.

Neighbors!

Camping on the Mattole River

2010-06-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

Redwoods turn into steep, grassy hills. Another steep drop (people really bike on these mountains?) back down to the coast.

Flat, beautifully quiet coastline.

Back up to the mountains, through gorgeous ranches to a lost village. My goodness, I could so live here. If I could give up Target that is.

After sleeping in the car during the drive, the kids woke up as we arrived to the campground. The kids were super excited about setting up the tent.

Reed wasn't sure about the river conditions, so I looked online to see if the stretch by our campsite was open. Reed was able to fly fish while North practiced his casting with just a bobber at the end of the line.

And although the river is strictly catch and release, I must take the blame for the killing of a fish. I distracted Reed as he was casting. As he was casting, he pulled a baby fish out of the water and bashed its brains out on the rocks.

Passed out for 3 1/2 hours after the river play.

Lazy hammock play.

The kids and I were in a boat. Periodically, I would "drop anchor" so that North could jump out and spear salmon and bass. Don't tell the warden!

Learning how to grill hot dogs.

We drove to the mouth of the river to play on the beach. We found a labyrinth from the Summer Solstice celebration.

I am working on a collection of pictures called, "North and Skyler nurse".

Totally wiped out! Camping with two young kids is exhausting! It is fun, but not exactly a mellow experience.

Musical support for the young brain cells

2010-06-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Found this today on Marvelous Kiddo. Cheesy camera angle, but I love the lyrics.

Skyler turning 11 months and wise words from North

2010-06-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Skyler will be one year old in a very short period of time. One year ago today, I was walking around with a beautifully giant belly and while I don't miss the feeling of a baby on my cervix, the last moments of a pregnancy are like no other time in life. The month before a baby is born are also a combination of agonizing slow days followed by moments of hurried panic. I don't miss that either.

But now Sky is with us at 11 months old. He moves like a little kid more then an infant. He speaks, plays, laughs, shrieks from sun up to sun down. From the moment of his emergence a short time ago, his moods, feelings and thoughts have been clearly written on his body. But now, he shows a strong INTENT TO COMMUNICATE!

When he becomes furious, he throws his head onto the floor (sometimes banging it in the process, thus bringing on more fury) in a temper. If I calmly ignore him and move into another room, he will get up and follow. Then he repeats the tragic movement until I pick him up. Poor kid! Life is so unfair!

A few days ago after he and North woke up from an afternoon nap, North sat at the little snack/art table eating food. Sky crawled into the kitchen, looked at North and decided it was time for him to eat also. He looked at me, pointed at the bananas on the counter and loudly demanded his food. What can I say? What would you do? He was so happy as he ate his well-deserved food.

Later that same day, North and I were digging on a slope. Sky couldn't get himself up the steep incline to join us, so rather then fuss he just crawled off. I looked up a few moments later and saw him heading towards the open door of the chicken yard.

"He won't go in there," I thought to myself.

Wrong.

I had to fling myself off the hill and chase him down as he rapidly (his Mama was coming to stop him, after all!) moved through mounds of chicken poop.

"Where are you going?," I asked him.

He gestured to the large, white bucket we use for geese water with strong movements of his hands and loud words.

I think we have another strong personality on our hands.

As an infant, Sky would sit on Reed's or my lap as we read stories with North. But as Sky grew older his ability to move dictated that he move away from the book-reading and toward the toy-exploration. I felt confident that no matter where he was in the room, on some level, he was absorbing the behaviors of book-sharing and would soon be interested in sitting on a lap again.

Just recently, I have become encouraged to see him turning the pages of a book as he sits on the floor. And although he is usually in the middle of a pile of books he has pulled off the shelf, the curiosity he shows towards the ideas on the page is definitely growing.

Today, as he and I were waiting at North's swim lessons, I brought two books for us to look at. We looked at the pictures and I talked about the ideas for almost 10 minutes before we moved onto the next thing. He will be a book lover yet.

Yep, those are two bottom molars showing. He has two more on the top bringing the grand total of teeth to 12.

12!

Yesterday as I was cleaning out the wood stove, North and Skyler were playing at my feet. North was pushing his toy onto Sky's hands in a way that I thought was hurtful. So I talked to him about it.

Me: " There must be a way to play your game that is respectful to Brother."

North: I don't want to be spec-ful, I want to be dangerous."

Me: "Why dangerous?"

North: (in a very simple way) "Dangerous is fun, Mommy."

Later, he and Reed came inside. Reed asked North to repeat his idea to me.

North: "Daddy will run the weed-eater and I will have the chain saw."

EEEK!

One more picture, just because I can't resist. If it wasn't swim suit season, I would be worried about his mental health....Do you think he would get up early to go to a sale?!

Home again

2010-06-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

We have been back home for four days and boy, is it nice to feel settled in. North came down with a fever the same afternoon we arrived home, so while it was nice to stay close to the house, it wasn't as fun to have a sick kid either. I clued into North's needs a little late into the game but by day two he was laying down for a nap in the morning in addition to his normal afternoon rest. The extra healing time got him perked up enough to expel the germs. Now he is back to his feisty self.

Tuesday, I picked up our first veggies from our summer share on Eddie's farm. That night for dinner we ate a brown rice stir-fry with an egg scrambled in. Yummy! Shopping at the grocery store with many local farmers contributing to the fresh produce section is nice but not comparable to eating veggies the same day they are picked, grown by a farmer who knows his gardening. That is good food.

The next night I was inspired by a Cynthia Lair cookbook and made a polenta crust vegetable pizza. Reed is introducing more of his allergy foods into his diet, but he is very minimal with the gluten. The polenta crust was an awesome idea for a pizza! I roasted summer squash and kale with onions/garlic in chunky-canned tomato sauce with basil and oregano. The roasting with the herbs added an amazing depth to the pizza sauce.

Eating our veggie pizza made me remember a commercial I saw recently. In the clip, a man looks totally depressed as he picks at his over-boiled green beans. Over his head is a zero. After he drinks a v-8 fruit juice his number changes to a "1". The poor guy has to drink a sugary juice because no one can grow or cook veggies properly! I wish I could have shared our food from the farm with the poor guy, I think we ate at least five servings with the pizza.

On the juice front, I ordered a juicer from Amazon the other day. With so many vegetables coming into this house, I thought the summer would be the perfect time to experiment with juicing.

More changes are on the horizon for my family. A few months ago the current teacher of my preschool job asked me if I would be interested in working two mornings a week. I had an interview with some of the parents and was offered the job yesterday evening. So this fall, I will be working again.

I approach this transition with much nervousness. On one hand, I welcome and love, LOVE, the idea of working at this parent cooperative preschool. The inner workings of this school are amazing and so rewarding. Yet I also feel concerned about my own personal limitations. It is important to me that the job be only two mornings a week. I hope that the wonderful stay-at-home vibe manages to continue for my kids throughout this change. The easy flow of our days together is what makes this childhood time so rewarding and special for us all.

Amtrak train ride and Stockton Children's Museum - pictures taken by Josh and Leslie

2010-05-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

North LOVED waiting at the station and giving the conductor his ticket.

Sky loved the window. He was a great train traveler!

We walked eight blocks to the waterfront and ate our lunch.

North slept.

Skyler ate his lunch.

We crossed the street to the museum.

We played for hours! There was so much to do! Police cars, fire trucks, motorcycles, and tractors to climb on as well as slides, face painting, arts and crafts (we didn't even go in that room!), water play, magnet play and hospital exploration. At the hospital, we saw an x-ray of a finger with a fishing hook stuck in it. North and I spent a long time talking and looking at the picture. I hope it all sunk in!

We walked back to a train station and headed home. On the way home, Aunt Leslie suggested a train treat: ice cream!

Lavender farms and other garden adventures

2010-05-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

Pageo Lavender Farm

North liked looking for the bees on the flowers. He noticed that the bees were fuzzy and worked hard. We smelled many of the flowers to compare the scents of the different types of lavender. Most of the flowers were just beginning to open. I can just imagine the smell of the farm during the height of summer!

A table full of dried lavender flowers! I would love to have this as a touch and scoop table at preschool. I bet the days would be very relaxing....

North loves hanging out in Nana's cherry tree.

The ground under the cherry tree is littered with half-eaten cherries and pits. North loves to spit.

Skyler exploring Mom's courtyard. Sky really likes to move. Have I mentioned that before?

Umm Skyler? Perhaps no one has told you the drowning stories involving babies and buckets. Maybe you should mellow out with the water play.

Letter home

2010-05-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

My love,

The boys had a great day. After Sky's morning nap, we headed over to Nana's to pick cherrys. North just flies up the ladder and disappears into the leaves and branches. Sky has developed a love of cherries as well, but he still has not pooped (its been two days) so if those cherries haven't worked their magic by tomorrow, then I am off to the store for some prune juice.

After eating cherries, we walked to the park and then to a nearby kids thrift store. Mom was worried that Sky would be developmentally delayed if he didn't have a push-walker like he does at home, so we found one that he can use here in the valley. The toy converts into a little riding car, so I think we will be using it for awhile. We walked back to Nana's, the boys ate lunch and napped. Deecee and I snuck away to get pedicures. While we were gone, Sky woke up after 40 minutes and North slept over two hours. It is nice with the second child; I don't worry that they (and myself) are going to be crazy for life, I can see the bigger picture of one countinous series of phases.

It started to rain. North and Deecee made a paper frog and listened to books on tape. Sky alternated between playing and frantically following me around the house whenever I stood up. (Some days, I swear that kid is more moody then North!)

We ate Quedoba for dinner then packed up to go back to Mom's house. Sky went to bed while North ate a snack of strawberries (sad strawberries) and milk (happy milk). North is now sleeping in the big bed because the little cozy bed makes him nervous. Whatever.

Tomorrow I hope that the rain stops because we have plans to go to the lavender/herb farm. I guess the farm can wait, but as it is Mom's last day off work it would be nice to do that with her.

I am having a great time, but am looking forward to our time together again. While viisiting is very nice, it also makes me so appreciative of the space you and I have together up north. I am very grateful.

With love,
Trisha

Turtle Bay

2010-05-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

We watched part of an animal show. The birds were cool, but North LOVED the porcupine.

North explored the idea of water current flows and dams in a great water feature complete with a kid-movable water wheel.

He also conquered his fear by successfully crossing a net bridge.

And Sky? Well, he just looked cute. Like he does everyday!

North and Sky at play

2010-05-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

North in mid-leap after tripping over a toy. No, that's not a loose wine bottle about to hit him on the head. Shhh! Oh...and Sky's diaper is really still dry. We just had eaten out-of-season watermelon as a snack. You know babies; food goes everywhere.

This is a everyday, all day kind of activity. Until he gets stuck on a wall or piece of furniture, that is. He hasn't quite figured out how to turn the toy around yet.

Working on a project. WHICH I HAVE YET TO SEE YET, BY THE WAY, REED....

By the way...Do girl children really sit still for more then 3 seconds? 'Cause I would love to know. Well, maybe not.

Present and Future

2010-05-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

School is on my mind these days.

It seems that anytime an adult mentions anything involving their child, I counter with my own questions: "Where do they go to school? How is it working for them? How involved are you?"

I haven't abandoned the idea of public schooling at this time, although I do take the view of it being a small component of my child's overall love of life and interest in learning.

However, reading about other peoples experiences with unschooling has been very inspiring to my own role as a guide and educator of the two small faces residing in this house.

From the website Joyfully Rejoycing:

"Science, math, history, literature, writing, reading are all tools.

Science isn't the important part. It's the questions that are important. Anyone can look up the answers. But asking the questions is what's important. Not "Why is the sky blue?" science questions. But any question. Wonder about things. Why do pigeons walk funny? Why did my friend do that to me? Why does the cat behave that way? Why do people believe that?

History is a tool for helping us understand why our favorite characters lived in the society they did, and why the things that happened to them happened.

Math is a tool for helping us to compare things to other things so we can make better decisions: This deal is better than that one. I need to save for 3 more weeks to get both toys. It's 11 AM and Daddy will be home at 6 so that's 7 more hours or 14 of my favorite half hour shows.

Literature is a tool for helping us answer the questions we have about humans. But without the questions, literature is just a bunch of words on paper.

Writing is a tool for putting our thoughts down on paper and potentially getting them into someone else's head. Without the need to communicate thoughts, there's no need to write.

Reading is a tool for getting information we need. It's one of many tools. It's a really useful tool but unfortunately it's worshiped at the expense of other tools. Not because reading is light years ahead of the other tools but because reading is the most efficient tool for mass education. Which unfortunately gets interpreted to mean it's the best tool. But the best tool is whatever matches a child's needs and learning style. Movies, videos, hands on, talking, nature, listening can all beat reading if they work better for the child."

Augh!

2010-05-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

My younger child has discovered how to open the toilet lid and the toy box. Augh!

Guac and Mole Movie

2010-04-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Untitled from Trisha Sand on Vimeo.

2010-04-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

North wore the baby on his back this morning. He hasn't asked to wear a baby before.

I think they were looking for snails.

Hey, at least it is only dirt this time!

The beginnings of pretend play. I think North was fishing in a big river.

A few pictures to catch-up

2010-04-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

No fish under that bridge,

But there must be some in the Mad River

Christmas ride on the Skunk Train complete with first letter to Santa

No more pictures Mama!

Play at home

The carousel was a little scary at first, but by the second visit North felt much more confident

Planting Skyler's placenta

Music class on Fridays

No one hops on the hippitty-hop, but it is still fun to wrestle over.

Hmm, I am seeing the future...

So that one morning in which I wiped a already clean stovetop and discovered a gas burner still flaming.

2010-04-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Whew. Crisis adverted.

New babies again

2010-04-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I went to the feed store to get scratch grain and black sunflower seeds and came home with two Muscovy ducklings.

So now we have 16 chickens (2 roosters that are buddies), loads of eggs, 2 geese, and baby poultry in the house. It must be spring time.

But good news Mom, I am not pregnant again!

Skyler keeps eating dirt and leaves and grass and anything that he can get his hands on, so the gardening at home is taking a back burner in favor of going to the park or other outings (today we went to Trees of Mystery with friends and tomorrow is the first Farmers Market, YES!)

Some day soon Sky will stop eating gross things and we can go outside again. Either that or I break down and buy a cage to put him in while I work outside. I am getting real close to that. He has until the ground dries out to decide his fate.

North and I planted tomato seeds and pumpkin seeds today. They will join the watermelon sprouts that sit on the window sill. I am not certain the little plants will live long enough to produce their fruit, our weather is a little fickle, but the gardening experience is fun for North and I.

I am waiting patiently for Eddy's farm to start distributing veggies again. I feel like we are eating so much more protein and sugars lately, the natural production for fresh things must surely be warming up soon. Let go winter! Bring us some fresh vitamins.

Recently, I asked Reed to kill a chicken that I suspected was eating eggs. He went about the task quickly and now we have a chicken in our meat drawer awaiting roasting. I asked Reed what he thought about as he killed an animal. (The discussion started because he was laughing about our dog, Bruin. That dog hates when things die and will slink away anytime he sees a gun, or machete or even a shovel. I think he fears that he will be the next victim.) Anyway, Reed says he doesn't think, he just goes about the business. So I asked if that was a learned skill or if he had thought about the process differently when he was a child. I wondered out-loud if he ever looked the animal in the eye as he killed it. "You never look them in the eye!", he replied.

Ah, the secret to successful animal processing. I will remember that if my family is ever starving. Until then, I will focus my energy on creating an living environment for the healthy, happy animal protein.

Happy Spring!

Notes to the babysitter

2010-04-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

I have left both kids with our friend a few times now. I mostly do it for the practice, for me as much as the kids. Sky has been ok, as long as the time is short while North has generally been excited to have a new person to play with. But North is still North (read: moody) and Sky is a baby trying to understand the relationship of people coming and going (read: separation anxiety). Our friend asked for some insights as to what the kids like and need so I wrote to her on Facebook:

"Ok, ...so I am opening up my mind for brainstorming here....North likes Popsicle and pickles, so you can use those foods for turning away the tears. We tell him, "wipe away tears and find your happy body" when he starts to whine or cry (un-needed crying, that is)....Sky likes splashing in water so you could take out a cookie sheet and put a little bit of water into it and then place him on the floor....North also like to watch Nemo or Harold and the Purple Crayon, but I usually find that when he is whiny or crying what he is really asking for is one on one attention to refocus his energy...which is hard because Sky is a baby and needs so much attention too!

You are always welcome to put the kids in the stroller (under a sheet on the front porch) and go for a walk. I will leave a map at the house cause the streets around here are either REALLY narrow or REALLY hilly, but we have a pretty good walking route that a neighbor and I use. The kids usually settle well in the stroller esp. if you chatter about what you are seeing. I ask North if he seeing anything green or blue or whatever.

The key to North's moods is refocusing him. He really struggles with regulating his moods. My parenting strategy is to give him enough space so that he (with help) can acknowledge his mood and work on identifying the cause while also choosing a path to lead him out of the negativity.

Usually he just really needs to pee or he is hungry. Simple needs, but they rule the day.

I am pretty firm about teaching North to respect his brothers' play space. If Sky is touching a toy/object then North should not be taking it away from him. So there is a bit of sibling energy going on right now. North is not usually aggressive, but if Sky has been needing a lot of time, North will get needy himself because he is feeling uncertain about his place.

Crazy simple, yet I think I still struggle with some of these issues!

Painting is always fun if you are willing to handle the clean-up. I put a few squirts of paint of a paper plate and North paints on cardboard. Usually he winds up painting on his hands, arms, clothes. You are welcome to give the kids a bath whenever you think it is necessary, but be warned that when only North is in the bath, Sky will most likely fling himself over the edge so that he can be in the water too. Sky is still a bit wobbly in the water so you have to keep a hand near his body at all times. I usually get Sky out first, have North pull the plug (he likes to watch the water go down the drain), then towel North off as Sky watches.

Tents are always fun. We have a couple of sheets ready in the wooden coffee/toy box and my mom brought up a new pop tent when she recently visited.

Sky likes to stand next to the little snack table and eat O's off the edge. Up in his highchair you can also give him chunks of banana or toast.

Thank you again for your time and energy! I feel so thankful that I have someone that I can trust to be with North and Sky."

A fellow mother told me recently that parents of boys "get it on the way in" and parents of girls "get it on the way out." Both my kids have big feelings that are showing up strong. I hope I can stay focused on the biggest prize before their childhood slips away. I won't stand around, impatiently waiting for the next childhood phase. I don't want to miss a thing right now.

North-ism

2010-03-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

Today, North was eating a piece of cheese as he, Sky and I drove into the hills to visit some friends for the afternoon. After the visit, he found a chunk in his carseat as we were loading up. He asked if he could eat it; I said "sure, but let me break off the crunchy hard parts." I did and then tossed the pieces into the forest. As we were driving away, I could hear the wheels turning in his head.

He said, "Mama, you threw two pieces of cheese into the forest".

Me: "I did."

He thinks for a minute. " I think the mice will eat up the cheese in the forest."

Me: "I am sure they will enjoy the cheese very much."

North thinks again. "But first they have to wake up."

So who told him that some mice are nocturnal?

I finished the book, "Siblings without Rivalry" and am now starting "How to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk." I love the ideas and the writing style of the authors. These books are great assets to my parenting library.

(blush)

2010-03-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

"American children in 2010 have a bright, clear reason for being. They exist to furnish subjects for digital photographs that can be corrected, cropped, captioned, organized, categorized, albumized, broadcast, turned into screen savers and brandished on online social networks."

Action, dance!

2010-03-03T13:35:00.001-08:00

North loves this music video. He has watched it over and over today. And he was inspired to have a dance session to our music class CD. We had a great morning.

Embrace life

2010-03-02T21:18:00.001-08:00

Sunday adventures

2010-02-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

This morning Reed had the idea of us all having a family adventure out at Stone Lagoon. The drive north is always beautiful, today it was even more so as the ground was heavily saturated from the rains and a high tide. On the drive, I started to tell Reed that I had wished we had brought North's fishing pole, but then realized that I really felt differently. I want my kids to have adventures in which they can enjoy nature's wonders without being caught up in the process of taking/killing something else. I want to develop their sense of curiosity, not be drawn into a uni-directional focus each time they step outside of their house. So today was a good day to leave the fishing pole at home. Even though North loves, LOVES the idea of fishing.

Stone Lagoon is a beautiful beach site. The ocean floor rises very sharply up into the shoreline so the rip currents are very strong and the waves unpredictable. As a result the air is often very misty and the sounds of many birds adds up to a very picturesque setting. I like to walk along the shore up to beyond the point of the lagoon to where the sea stacks begin to pile up.

However, that is my memory of Stone Lagoon pre-kids.

Now as we take two kids and two dogs, the time is not so lovely or relaxing. The dogs always need lots of supervision so that they don't run into the ride-tide fueled killer waves, and North needs to be watched closely as he doesn't know how to read the waves either. So we didn't stay too long. Too stressful. Not enough negative ions to cover all that stress.

Instead we drove back to Trinidad, got some lunch, and scored the best surprise ever! A couple who has a draft horses were exercising their horses by offering wagon rides around town. Normally the horses participate in parades or are hired out for special events, but as the horses were feeling frisky this morning, the couple decided to hook everything up to the wagon and walk around the town. Trinidad is cool like that I am learning. So we rode around for a while. North loved the bells on the horses. He wanted to feed them carrots but the horses were huge! And we had already eaten all of our carrots up on the drive to Stone Lagoon.

Later that afternoon, North and Reed dug up the thistles growing in our yard and North painted. Early baths and dinner rounded out the day for the kids.

I haven't spent any time with just North since Sky has been born, so tomorrow I think I will take just him into town to get more paint. I am currently reading a great book, "Siblings without rivalry" and so am having a lot of reflections as to the way I interact and talk to each child. Having time to really listen to North is something that needs to be added to each of my days. He has been really mellow about the introduction of Sky, I want to make sure I am on top of his developing feelings. I am really enjoying thought process that is coming with the reading of this book.

Saturday thoughts

2010-02-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today I left the kids! I had planned for a couple hours for myself to go to the beach with the dogs, but with the tsunami warning I wasn't sure I could follow through in that idea. As it was, the police had blocked off the entrance to Trinidad State Beach so the dogs and I walked along the bluffs and looked at the waves for a while (yes, the dogs looked at the waves too). No great waves of disaster, I guess the coastline is safe for another day.

Reed has been diagnosed with 28 food allergies plus an intolerance to gluten. He has been so amazingly positive with the radical eating change. He has been eating lots of rice and fruits and veggies, plus drinking more water. He has had more energy for working out and while not losing a ton of wight, he has lost a good deal of the puffiness in his face and torso.

I, on the other hand, am experiencing an empathetic grumpiness. I can't imagine giving up gluten foods or garlic or eggs or onions, or...the Reed's do-not-eat list goes on and on. I love eating bagels and oatmeal, egg sandwiches. I am trying to be supportive and not eat those foods around Reed, but I failing horribly with the positive attitude. I NEED REAL CARBS!

I picked up a huge bag of carrots from the Co-op a few days ago. North loves carrots and Reed can actually eat them. The carrots are from a farm a few miles inland. I love winter carrots. The frost/freeze makes the sugar stronger so eating a carrot is like a dessert. I am not even going to attempt a gluten-free carrot cake yet. I will most certainly ruin the loveliness of the carrot taste.

You know when....

2010-02-23T19:54:00.000-08:00

You know you are deep in Mommy-hood when one goes out for much needed retail therapy, but instead of buying a new pair of shoes, you get an umbrella for one child and a cozy jacket for the other.

Skyler and North: February 2010

2010-02-18T19:56:00.001-08:00

This month Skyler learned to crawl and North learned how to pee and poop in the potty. Sky learned to yell and North discovered that he was 2. Sky now carries a magnet in his pocket that draws him irresistibly toward any surface in which he can pull himself up onto. North discovered a new activity of riding a little car down our driveway at breakneck speed. Life has been wonderfully busy.

With Sky learning how to crawl, he has officially shed his newborn babyhood. He is now an independent person who crawls into rooms to investigate toys and objects. Sometimes I will find him in the bathroom hanging on to the edge of the tub, banging onto the side as if to say "When do we take a bath"? He and North bathe together now with large splashes created by both boys frequently soaking whomever is lucky to be perched outside of the bathtub.

When we are all moving around upstairs, Sky will crawl into the playroom to touch and move toys as he discovers how he can explore play ideas. He feels the wooden blocks with his mouth. He knocks over the towers that I build for him and he shakes rattles and other musical tools as we play.

However, with this new found independence in Sky, I must remember to use my patience more often. He doesn't like to lie still for diaper or clothing changes. I have to use a doll or make funny faces to hold his attention as I race through the necessary changing. Earlier in the month, Sky wouldn't eat much pureed solid foods, yet I could tell that he was feeling frustrated when we were eating during mealtime and he wasn't. So I started offering him large chunks of banana or pear and now he is feeding himself throughout most of our meals. It is messy, but the concentration and happiness that I see on his face is worth it.

The 6 month well-baby check up went well although two issues came up. Sky had an surprise ear infection that needed treatment. And then when it came to the shot time, it was explained to Reed and I that the nurse had given him the wrong combination dose during the previous visit. So while I was annoyed, there wasn't anything to be changed at the time and Sky got his whooping cough vac. In the future, as the nurse has the shots on the tray, I will re-state, "so this is the so and so?" I don't like my kids getting unnecessary extra chemicals.

Cuddling with Skyler continues to be my favorite time with him. He snuggles in the sling easily when he gets tired or overstimulated. I have found more ways to get my daily tasks done with a child in a sling then I was able to when North was a baby. Things really are easier with the second child.

North has always been very vocal with his ideas and now I am seeing a further expansion of that development. He talks out rudimentary storylines as he plays in addition to showing the beginnings of imaginative, independent play. Yea! Finally!!

He usually gets jelly bean rewards when he pees and poops, but the other day he peed right after brushing teeth as we were getting ready for bed. I didn't want to go downstairs for the candy and then brush teeth again so I made a bargain with him. If he waited through the big sleep time without fuss, then he could have two jelly beans when we went downstairs in the morning. The next morning as the four of us cuddled in the bed there was no mention of the jelly beans but the minute his feet hit the bottom step he was reminding us of the promise. What an elephant that kid is.

The 2's have been pretty kind to us lately. If I keep North in check with his whining and praise him for using his happy, strong voice we seem to avoid some of the power struggles that can ruin a day. North is getting squirrelly when we are at grocery stores and at other errands, I can tell he is no longer content with just looking around, he now needs to be more involved. Telling him what we are doing or purchasing seems to help. I wonder how much longer until I can give him a calculator? I would love if he would take over as the budget manager.....

I would like to finish the final phase of potty training with North soon. He hasn't had an accident for over a month as well as sleeping in underwear during night time and naptimes. But I am still reminding him to go potty as well as helping him with his pants. So I have offered him extra beans for the self-motivated potty-ing, so far it has been working.

On the sleep front, because Sky was waking up and crawling (off the bed three times!) I was forced to make him nap in a crib during the day. I nurse and rock him to sleep then roll him onto his belly as he sleeps. No fussing, no crying. Nighttime is even better as I get him out of the crib when he wakes and bring him into our big bed. I love to curl my body around him, smelling his sweet scent. He is a very peaceful sleeper and a joy to share a bed with. Normally he sleeps closest to me, but lately he has been moving over by Reed and patting his face before snuggling up to sleep next to his Daddy.

North sleeps well in his own bed most nights, but in the wee hours of the morning Reed will bring him into the big bed. As the day lightens, North will tickle Sky as they play together. Reed and I pretend to sleep, but honestly, I can't imagine being anywhere else.

10 years less.....for our children

2010-02-18T19:38:00.000-08:00

I have always loved the humor of the British chef, Jamie Oliver. Netflix has a cooking video/ stage performance of his that is really funny. Lately Jamie Oliver has been focused on bringing awareness towards children's eating habits within the larger culture of our shared food environment. I found this video on a local dad's blog today.

The clip is 20 minutes long, but I wouldn't post it if I didn't think it was important for everyone. Take a look.

Playing at Gracedia park

2010-01-31T19:21:00.000-08:00

The only time his legs will ever look long, I am afraid.

Catching up with the camera downloading...

2010-01-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

Water and carrots for Santa's hardworking reindeer.

Making red and green playdoh.

Dada looks a little sleepy!

Going potty at Grammies.

About a month ago, I was feeling tired of washing two sets of diapers, so I followed (most of the parts anyway...) the advice from a book called "potty training in less then a day. Initially I was fearful of the h.o.r.r.i.b.i.l.y...l.o.n.g...t.i.m.e... most potty training seems to demand from kids and their families. So I was attracted to this idea of potty training boot camp. Our day was pretty intense, but Reed played with Sky for most of the time so North and I were able to work together uninterrupted. North took to the idea of peeing in the potty really well. The most important advice I took in from the book was to stay positive and enthusiastic.

To begin the day, North helped me give a doll water to drink and we helped it pee in the potty. We checked the dolls "dry pants' and North ate the doll's reward (d0lls can't eat, you know!) Then after a few times of that, the doll had an accident so North and I changed the dolls "wet pants" ( "wet pants are ICKY!" North loved saying that) then we practiced taking the doll on practice runs around the house. "The doll has to go pee. Run to the potty!"

During all this, North was drinking copious amounts of Capri Sun drink pouches. (special treats) He managed to pee in the potty soon after practicing the whole routine with the doll. (child visualizes process, child completes process). Everytime we checked his underwear and it was dry, he received a treat. If he peed in the potty, he got two treats. Not only was the parent expected to maintain an enthusiastic, positive mood throughout the entire day, but the child was also expected to be independent with his clothing movement and toilet dumping.

But honestly, the potty training took us more then one day. North didn't poop for two days so I was on pins and needles waiting for that moment. When he finally pooped in the potty, we were so excited, we called Reed at work. Life as a mother has its thrills, I guess.

I was hoping to be confident about the potty training by the time the kids and I traveled to visit family. We were partway successful in that North never went back to diapers, but I still put North in pull ups for the traveling parts of our journey. He still has accidents at times, although he has also demonstrated strong bladder control when his little potty isn't available. At home, he sleeps in underwear, but here at my mom's I have him in "sleeping pants". He has been dry every single morning so I think I will stop with the extra absorption soon.

Potty training is much harder then using diapers. I think if I wasn't committed to the idea of not going back and forth from diapers and underwear, I would have given up for awhile longer. Knowing that I needed to stay positive and cheer North's successes also helped me not dwell of the frustrations of the messy pants too.

Great job North! You are a big kid now!

Development

2010-01-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

While outside today, North discovered his pockets.

My laundry will never be the same again.

Sky 5 1/2 months

2010-01-02T20:02:00.000-08:00

Sky is now 5 1/2 months old. He is so confident in both his presence and moods that he is a joy to be around everyday. This is a summary of a few things he has been doing lately.

For the past month or so, Sky has been waking up around 5 or 5:30 to sing. Loudly. One morning, I left the bed to get a fresh diaper thinking that it would encourage him to go back to sleep. Sky started to cry as I left, so North started to sing "Ba Ba Black Sheep" to comfort him. Reed and I don't need roosters or alarm clocks to wake us up anymore. (Sky also sings in the car. Loudly.)

Sky eats a banana mushed with breast milk or rice cereal with breast milk most mornings now. He decided about two weeks ago that he really wanted to eat with the rest of us. So now he does. After Reed leaves for the morning, Sky naps for about an hour (I think it would be later and longer if he didn't start singing so early!), then we all play or go out for the day.

Sky likes being on a blanket on the floor with a few toys. A few months ago, the floor time was very minimal as Sky would protest after a few minutes, but now North and I can play with him or read books for almost 20 or 30 minutes before Sky is ready to do something new.

While on the floor, Sky will raise up to his hands and knees or up to his hands and toes. He isn't rocking yet, so I am not seeing the crawling happening soon. I am certain that he needs to be more stable with the sitting first. He still topples over without support. He does scoot backwards though. Which I learned for the first time when he fell off North's bed during a nap. Oops.

Sky has a special sound that he only makes when he see Hacate the cat. I usually recognize his sound and then turn my head to see her for the first time since coming into a room. He lights up when he sees her. He also likes touching her, if she lets him.

This afternoon while North was sleeping and Sky was playing on a blanket, I left Sky to grab some clean diapers out of the dryer. Sky let out a yell as I was walking out of his eyesight; it was a very strong, not distressed, yet very clear "I am not done playing with you!" It is really fun to see his language awareness grow and develop.

I love playing with both of my boys. Their relationship is growing very strong with the new games and communication skills. North loves to make Sky laugh. Sometimes North tickles Sky's belly or gives him great big hugs. Sky adores his brother. I fall down to second place when North decides to play with his brother. I think Sky might even forget that I even exist! When North plays in the bathtub, Sky will lean against the outside rim to grab at North's toys or the bubbles. North is really growing in his understanding of how to play and share his ideas and toys with Sky.

After dinner, both kids go to bed for the night. Sky has been sleeping on his belly since he was about a month old. (he sleeps in a family bed- which I believe to be most important for preventing SIDS, he is a second child, and I know he is more comfortable as he sleeps.) He nurses until he is drowsy. When he reaches up and over his head, I answer his cue and roll him over onto his belly. He settles into sleep very easily. Sometimes when I am laying with Sky in the evening, I will curl my body around his and just breathe in his spirit. I love the way his little hands feel on my skin as he is drifting towards sleep. I love knowing that we have had a great day together and will be having another one tomorrow.

Testing..one...two..three

2009-12-27T20:45:00.001-08:00

Hi Mom.

You should join Facebook.

Babies (the movie trailer)

2009-12-08T22:09:00.000-08:00

Rixa from Stand and Deliver posted this movie trailer on her blog. The trailer promises an interesting story. What a great concept!

Letters to my sister: diapering

2009-12-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

So you have decided to use cloth diapers on your future child. Yea!

Not only will you insure healthier and a more comfortable bottom for your baby, but you will save money and reduce your garbage output. Your child WILL have less diaper rash and be more aware of their own bodily functions (helpful for transitioning out of diapers). You won't be beholden to silly cartoons that covertly brainwash your child as you unpack every box of plastic diapers, instead you can choose from colorful, even outfit-coordinating patterns on your diapers.

You know how people are always concerned about blowouts when they hold babies? Well, put your baby in cloth and you won't have that problem. Breastfed babies have runny, yellow poop that plastic diapers can't contain consistently. Cotton fabrics are perfect for soaking up that mess before it can leak out the sides (or up the back!)

Buying enough diapers to begin can be tricky and expensive to do all at once. Seek out friends who have used cloth or ask for specific brands as shower presents. Most people are unfamiliar with the different types of cloth diapers, so you will have to be specific with your requests. Try out different types of diapers. Covers with cotton pre-folds are a good type to start out with, but buy a few new types here and there for fun as time goes by. Certain types of diapers can absorb differently or fit around different body sizes.

Types of diapers:

A newborn baby needs about 5-6 covers and about 10-15 newborn cotton pre-folds (cotton pre-folds are bought in sizes for the age of the baby) The covers are waterproof, the cotton pre-folds can be folded inside the cover in a variety of different manners to heighten absorbency. When the insert is wet, you change the diaper by dropping the soiled cotton insert into a bucket. The cover can be aired out if it is not smelly or dirty. I alternate covers for a few cycles, then throw them into the wash. While I like pre-folds and covers, I like to mix up their use with pocket diapers.

Pre-folds in covers are very absorbent, but the moisture stays right next to the skin. If the skin is not aired out frequently, redness can occur. Pocket diapers can solve this problem by placing a fleece-like layer between your child's skin and their pee. You can use cotton pre-folds or stack a number of micro-fleece inserts inside the pocket (helpful for a morning of errands or nighttime). However, each insert and the pocket cover must be washed at every use.

Both covers can come with Velcro fastenings or snaps. Both types can be handy for adjusting the diaper to your child's growing body. Significant Others, Grammies and babysitters prefer the Velcro, but when it comes time for you to wash, you might like the snaps better. The Velcro tabs tend to stick with other diapers, creating an annoying chain to untangle. The fuzz from stray disposable wipes can also build up and weaken the sticky-ness of the hook and loop.

All In One diapers have all inserts and stuffing sewn inside a cover. I haven't met an AIO diaper I have liked. They take too long to dry and can get smelly.

Washing information:

Newborns poo miconuim for the first few days. They also usually have some sort of a clamp on their umbilical cord site. You want to make sure that you keep the top of the diaper lower then the clamp so that it doesn't irritate the baby. You also may want to lay strips of fabric inside the diaper or soak the diapers between uses as the miconium can stain.

You don't need to worry about separating the poo from the diaper if you are breastfeeding your child. Breastfed baby poo washes out extremely well in the washing machine. Once you add solid food to your child's diet, you will need to begin dunking the diaper into the toilet to separate the poo. If you are regular with changing your child's diaper, you shouldn't need to soak the poopy diaper in the toilet. I don't recommend adding water to your diaper pail. Soaking the dirty diapers all the time creates MUCH smell and can shorten the life of the diaper fibers.

I like to buy used cotton pre-folds. These inserts need to be washed several times before they reach their optimal absorbency. I like to let someone else do that work for me. Otherwise for all other diapers, just wash new diaper once before using it on your child. Dirty diapers should be washed every two to three days. Don't forget to save a few clean diapers to use while the others are washing!

Creating clean cloth diapers:
Step One: Remove soiled diaper from child
Step Two: Separate insert and remove poo if needed
Step Three: Store soiled diaper in dry bucket by toilet or next to washing machine or in traveling water-proof bag (also called a "wet bag".)
Step Four: Assemble load of diapers. At this writing I have two kids in diapers. I will overload the washing machine and create half-cleaned diapers if I wash all diapers together. Therefore I begin with a load of inserts and cloth wipes. With one child, one load of diapers should clean everything.
Step Five: Cold water rinse cycle.
Step Six: Hot water wash cycle with Country Save powder detergent. Do NOT overuse. When washing diapers, it is not about the amount of soap used as too much soap repels moisture.
Step Seven: Cold water wash cycle with NO soap. If your diapers are smelly after cleaning or are leaking, then take a peek into the washing machine during this cycle. You shouldn't see any sudsing at this time.
Step Eight: Dry inserts on high heat
Step Nine: Wash pocket covers and other covers.
Step Ten: Add covers to dryer and lower the heat for an additional cycle. High heat will melt the waterproof-ness and ruin the elastic. I made this mistake! Or you can hang the diapers outside to dry. Sunshine removes any lingering stains.
Step Eleven: Significant Others, Grammies, and babysitters appreciate if they can find a few diapers pre-assembled. Sort and fold diapers as necessary.

Cloth wipes:

I use infant washcloths and handmade wipes to clean bottoms. The handmade wipes have a cotton fabric backed by a velor fabric with the stitching on the outside. I make up a solution of one squirt of baby soap, one chug of olive oil, 4-5 drops of lavender and tea tree oil all added to enough warm water to completely saturate the wipes. After a bit of experimentation and advice from fellow cloth-using moms, I began storing the wet wipes in a wipe warmer. "Prince Lionheart" makes a warmer that has an anti-microbial pad inside that prevents mold and mildew (don't laugh!) North loves the warm wipes. When I travel, I wet a dry wipe under warm water or use a small bottle of the pre-made solution.

Not only are the washing cycles easier, but on poopy messes that might take 6-8 disposable wipes to fully clean, now only take two of the same sized cloth wipes. As I stated before, stray disposable wipes would go through the washing machine and tangle up with the diapers. The cloth wipes can get tossed into the wash without any extra care and come out as clean as can be. What could be simpler?

Justification:

The reasons to use cloth are many. For my own example; I change my children's diaper with every nearly every transition during the day. We leave or arrive back to the house, we diaper. We get ready for a meal or to lay down for a nap, we diaper. We get up from a nap or we get ready to go outside, we diaper. All those clean diapers add up to about 8-10 diapers a day per child. Using size-adjustable cloth diapers priced at about 15 dollars a diaper put my initial costs at $300. AND that's IT. I don't have to replace the diapers unless I ruin one or feel tempted to try another style. The water usage is higher with the washing, but has not significantly raised my water bill.

One hundred and thirty six diapers cost 40 dollars at Target right now. But you can't re-use those diapers. So that pack would only last me 17 days for one child. Therefore, eight packs at 4o dollars a piece would cost me 320 dollars in about five months. In about five months I will have paid (and thrown away) the same amount of money for what could have instead covered my child's bottom for his first two to three years.

In addition to the financial incentives there is a sense of pride. My oldest child helps me sort out the diaper laundry. He helps me move the laundry from the dryer. He creates little piles of wipes, inserts and covers. He recognizes the colors of the different diapers and feels ownership towards his laundry.

Did I mention the waste? Did I mention the non-issue of "sensitive skin" conditions?

But as not to lose sight of reality, you must also be ready to be flexible. When overwhelmed by life transitions, when traveling and without consistent access to a washing machine; these are all times I have used disposable on my children. Life is about being flexible and responsive. You shouldn't have to make excuses.

But cloth diapers are still the best.

Love, Trisha

A bit of germs

2009-12-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

Well, we decided not to travel for Thanksgiving and then my kids became sick the day we were to leave.

Sky started coughing Wednesday night but pulled it together during the day times. As I lay with him on Friday night his cough became labored and wheezy.

I feel so inexperienced with children's illnesses. As a teacher I could call parents as warning symptoms began appearing on their children's faces. And Boom! The kids disappeared from my classroom not to reappear until their runny noses slowed and their fevers had been gone for 24 hours. (For those parents that lied to me: Curses!)

But with my own, and with a young infant, the confidence is not so strong. Every wheeze sounds as if it originates within the lungs and every cough brings visions of red, painful throats. I go back and forth on determining the right time to dose a fever. If the fever is only 100 degrees, should I let it be? If North is restless during the middle of the night, should I just give him the fever suppressant so that he will sleep better?

Having Sky sick this week was mentally tricky. He never had a fever and his deposition was lively and sunny. His cough still lingers, so I feel a slight concern about that. However, he is only 4 months old! I hope the first challenge to his immune system passes well.

Reed has also been gone for most of this week. Both boys have been sleeping in my bed during the nights. I love sharing the big bed with them. North sleeps next to the wall with a glass of water on the windowsill (he takes big gulps of water during the night), I sleep in the middle, and Sky is on the edge (closer to the cool steam mister). We wake up together, North and I talk about our plans for the day and we head downstairs for breakfast. I sleep surer knowing that my kids, though challenged by night coughing and stuffy noses, are close by. I can comfort them during the night without having to leave my own warm nest. And that creates a happy mama; not a grumpy, walking down the hall for the billion-th time grouch.

May this be the worst sickness of the year.

Thanks for staying

2009-11-25T21:13:00.000-08:00

Right now I have a pumpkin pie, stuffing and the base layer of a cream of celery soup all cooling on the kitchen counter.

I didn't intend to cook tomorrow. We were planning on going over to Reed's hometown to spend some quality family time and eat great food cooked by his stepmom.

However, after a LONG drive home on Sunday from Ft Bragg with Sky crying all the way from the Coast through the hills into the town of Leggett, I vowed never to get into a car with him again.

Until he is 40 years old, maybe 50.

Coupled with the onset of Sky's first cold and a strong need for the four of us to spend time together, I think staying home this holiday has worked out for the best.

So tomorrow North will help me make cranberry sauce (he likes to eat the berries) and I will whip up some cream for the pie. Reed will roast the bird and I will reheat the soup and stuffing.

I think we will have a good day anyway.

The moment you discover Life again

2009-11-24T19:21:00.000-08:00

I follow a woman's writings of a journey. She and her family started in a house in Austin then gave away most of their things to pursue a life on the road while living in an RV. The family was having many amazing experiences until the discovery of a new pregnancy followed by a huge loss of finances curtailed the wanderings. The family decided to settle into a cabin in the mountains as they transitioned into a family of five (plus a huge, hairy dog).

I follow this blog because I admire this family's can-do spirit. This family has such positive energy as they embrace the spirit of life; not the physical "wants", but the spirit of happiness from within. I admire that they are choosing a path in life that is not typical. This family seeks adventure, but always within the boundaries of each members' comfort zone. Mostly I admire the pure freedom of the family.

Anyhow, they had their baby and the birth went great. You can read a little bit about in in a post called Surrender.

The moments of discovering the new life of a baby, your baby, with the world narrowing to only yourself and that wonderous new being, with life changing, rotating a full 180 degrees and becoming perfect once again, that is what a birth is. As a birth should be.

I am so happy Amy had such an experience.

Swim time

2009-11-23T22:48:00.000-08:00

This weekend, the kids and I traveled to Ft. Bragg to see some friends and celebrate their son's 5th birthday. The party was held at the recently completed Aquatic Center.

Although there were many friends in the water with their own kids, I felt that I needed to stay ashore with Sky as he watched the action from his stroller. And as long as he had a strap to chew on, Sky was happy!

The pool was amazing. It had a large, shallow area with fountains and sprinklers for the little kids to play with. A regular 4-5ft shallow section linked into a "lazy river" moving current, complete with inner tubes. In addition to a lap area and a deep diving section, a huge tube slide made the whole set up complete!

North had a great time. My friends helped out by taking North out into the deeper water to swim in. When they weren't with him, I had to keep convincing him not to venture back into the deep water. As I didn't go in the water, I felt a bit stretched when he decided to be adventurous. After 45 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and made him get out. Luckily it was cake and ice cream time.

We drove home right after the party. It is a three hour drive, but who could complain when the ocean parallels the highway? It is such a beautiful coastline.

Farewell ocean! (for the next two hours until the road winds back to the coast) I love living near the ocean. I don't think I could move away from all the energy.

Time to download the camera pictures

2009-11-18T20:06:00.000-08:00

Lately North has been asking for a books while we are driving in the car. Sometimes he reads them, sometimes he does this. On this particular trip, he used the book to block the sun (all his own idea, I add) then fell asleep.

Big guy, Little guy

A butterfly found itself inside our house recently. North explored it for a while then was devastated when we released (ok, it was Mama who was the "bad guy", Reed was fine with North's continuous insect torture!) the butterfly outside.

Sky "airing out." He loves to wiggle around!

One more cute picture of Sky for the road

Numbers, sch-numbers.

2009-11-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

As Sky has a doctors appointment coming up, out of curiosity I looked on the CDC and WHO growth chart websites to see how my kids "rank."

North:
WHO- 15th percentile
CDC- 3rd percentile

Sky:
WHO- 97th percentile
CDC- 75th percentile

To better understand the numbers I was seeing, I looked for the methods used to create the numbers in the age-to-weight graph for both organizations. I had always assumed (based upon what I had previously read) that the CDC chart was an older chart using data from formula fed babies from the 50's.

Oops, wrong assumption on my part. The data was actually revised in 2000 to more accurately reflect the current (at the time) population of both formula and breast-fed babies. So formula babies are still included in the chart, messing with the results in my opinion, but at least the numbers are a bit more accurate in regards to my children's feeding habits.

The CDC says:
"Breast-feeding is recommended as the feeding method of choice for most full-term infants during the first 6 months after birth and should be continued with the addition of solid foods through the first 12 months (58). The association between breast-feeding and size and growth in infants has been the topic of many investigations. In general, breast-fed infants tend to gain weight more rapidly in the first 2–3 months. From 6 to 12 months breast-fed infants tend to weigh less than formula-fed infants (18,59). These observations have led to recommendations for the development of new infant growth references based on healthy breast-fed infants (18,19,60,61). A study sponsored by the WHO is currently collecting data at study centers in six countries. These data will be used to develop a new international growth reference."

So I carried on over to the WHO website to see how their data was obtained to create a growth charts.

"The WHO Multicentre Growth Reference Study (MGRS) was undertaken between 1997 and 2003 to generate new growth curves for assessing the growth and development of infants and young children around the world.

The MGRS collected primary growth data and related information from approximately 8500 children from widely different ethnic backgrounds and cultural settings (Brazil, Ghana, India, Norway, Oman and the USA).

The new growth curves are expected to provide a single international standard that represents the best description of physiological growth for all children from birth to five years of age and to establish the breastfed infant as the normative model for growth and development."

-homepage of World Health Organization: growth charts

Yea Breast milk! The real normal growth!

But really, my children are not starving in a third world country nor are they bloated out on synthetic formulas. Numbers, sch-numbers. Both North and Sky are healthy and vibrant even with their vastly different growth patterns. The bottom line is that breast milk keeps a baby healthy.

Doctors (and the medical system) should spend more of their time guiding families towards optimal nutrition of children. Educating families on the physical and emotional importance of nursing, explaining how "nursing-on-cue" benefits both mother and child, increasing milk supply when needed, taking steps to insure a comfortable culture in which a mother can feed her child, all these things and more will lead to a better health of our children and adults.

2009-11-09T20:12:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a desire to write, yet am not certain about a topic. I could write about a recent birth, broadcast (and excessively commented on) live on the internet. Or write about the way our family is choosing to protect ourselves this flu season (simplified version: garlic and hand sanitizer). But I don't feel like being opinionated today, the mood I feel is too laid back for drama. I took North and Sky to Cafe Mokka today for hot chocolate. North took one sip of his chocolate and then was done with his drink. The drink was VERY rich, so I understood why it was too much for his taste buds. Afterwards, we walked around the frog pond in the rainy drizzle. It was very nice.

The boys and I have been doing a lot of hanging out around the house lately. North had a friend over yesterday to play. As I watched and interacted at the appropriate moments, I realized that North needs help sharing. What two-year old doesn't? But the way in which North says "Mine!" is rather annoying, so the next time a friend comes over to play, I will have that family bring over a couple of toys of their own so we can work on negotiating skills and using appropriate language together.

I am working on a rewards chart to use with North. He really enjoys stickers and so I will use stickers help him visualize a system of rewards. My thinking is this: Reed and I are using discipline and harsher voice tones more often with North as his expressive language and mental capacities are creating more instances of defiance and impulsive behavior. I use "the red chair" (stern voice over) as a time out/ change the energy discipline object. For us the discipline is not the act of sitting in the chair, but instead the talking over the problem afterward. Some days, depending on my levels of patience (and willingness to predict a behavior before a problem occurs!) North visits that red chair more often then I feel is helpful for the both of us.

Therefore, I want to also reward him for the good behavior within our day. He needs to understand that I value his role within this family; all behaviors included. The rewards for good behavior will not be linked to a punishment(i.e. coercion or bribery), but hopefully will build North's character at the same time as he is developing the emotional maturity to understand the logic of his decisions.

I am think I will start off by writing/drawing a picture of three chores: setting the table, sweeping the floor, and picking up toys. All three North does well, but are not yet a mandatory part of the day. Therefore, North can choose whether or not he wants to earn a sticker on his chart for completing the task. Once 4 stickers are on the chart he gets his reward.

I am stuck on the reward part though. I don't want to use sugar food as I don't feel it is a life lesson I want to reinforce with my kids, yet I don't want to use dollar store junk either. I need something immediate and gratifying. North would be happy with just his stickers, but I like the idea of him learning how to work towards a goal. So I am stuck until a brainstorm revels an answer.

Sky continues to do well. The teeth are still giving him some discomfort, but just being close to the breast and having chewies available seem to be helping. North has begun singing songs, so I will often ask him to sing to his brother as Sky loves anything that North does. I am thinking of getting a Bumpo seat to use in the bathtub. I have put Sky in the tub with North a few times and they both enjoy the experience. Sky loves to float on his back, but after a while my back hurts! I think he will enjoy sitting in the tub with his brother. I am thinking that if I keep the water level low and hover VERY CLOSE, IF NOT ACTUALLY BEING IN THE TUB MYSELF, the idea with the chair might actually work.

and then I woke up this morning...

2009-11-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

to find another tooth in Sky's mouth!

Pictures

2009-11-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

We all went for a hike along the trail at College Cove earlier last week.

In the last few mornings, I have been putting out flour on a tray for North to explore.

Lesson for Mama: corn flour - not so good for cleaning up, bleached flour - even worse. I need to buy corn meal!

Reed went running and snapped a ligament in his ankle. He is on crutches for a few weeks. Bummer for him, but good news for me. Because I had someone around confined to the chair (reading books to North and Sky), I cleaned out the chicken coop, sorted the boys closet, and deep cleaned the fish tank!

Skyer has been drooly practically from the day he was born, but in the last few days he has really wanted to have something in his mouth to chew on.

And so I finally caught up with the game...and look!

Ok, it didn't really show up in the picture, but it is a tooth! He is handling the pain really well. I have two chewies that he really likes and have a circulating supply of frozen washcloths in the freezer for him to use. Unfortunately, like North, Sky has begun growing teeth before he is able to consistently grasp well. It is often me who holds the chewies up to his mouth. Thus, more time in the Ergo! (it is easier to hold a chewie and continue on with our day)

Today as I was paying bills, North said, "I drawed a diamond!" And by golly, he had.

I opened our curtains yesterday morning to see this on the window frame. Yuck. It was so freaky looking that I couldn't even get up the nerve to get close enough to squish it. I sent Reed limping over to to the dirty work. Does anyone know what kind of spider it was?

Halloween 2009

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Saturday night, North dressed up as Clifford, the Big Red Dog and hit the town for some evening fun.

First, we stopped by Daddy's work to see him.

Then, we went to a Halloween carnival. North saw an old (young?) friend.

At the carnival there were games to play and decorative balloons to punch.

Sky even stayed awake for the party!

Did I mention that North makes a cute Clifford?

Changing

2009-10-23T19:17:00.000-07:00

North and I have been talking about the autumn a lot recently. Well, I have been talking anyway.

When we go for a walk, I show him the leaves on the street and the changing colors of the trees. I tell him that the trees are getting ready to go to sleep, soon it will be winter. When we find dead bugs, I tell him that the bugs are dying because the air is getting colder. We are reading Halloween books, apple books and pumpkin books. It is fun guiding North into an understanding of the cycling seasons.

In the past two weeks, we have been eating a lot of cabbage. Our veggies from Eddy have included green cabbage, red cabbage, and savory cabbage. Mostly I have added the cabbage into a mixture of sauteed vegetables, but I also made a 24-hour refrigerated cabbage relish as well as steaming the leaves with pepper and salt. This week we got a few squash, I roasted winter squash and made soup as well as cubing and eating it warm.

I feel as though my body is storing up nutrients in preparation for the coming cold months. Since the spring, I have been consuming a much wider variety of produce as well a larger quantity. My meat and processed food intake is much lower.

I wouldn't call myself Sunny Sunshine yet, but I am working on it. Having a better nourished body is making my ability to stay positive much easier. It is so easy to get caught up in eating sugar, surrounding oneself with people who thrive on drama, not drinking enough water, getting exercise; all negative things that will affect mood and energy.

I can't promise I will feel warm and fuzzy everyday in January, but the intent is to try. Who wants to be around a grumpy person? (My inventory includes for blogs too. I realized I was spending too much time reading about other people's never-changing, ending problems. "Grow up already! Change and move forward!" In the meantime, I am over it.) Toss out the dust, move on to things that are meaningful.

Like my family.

Actually? Did you just say "actually?"

2009-10-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

North and I were putting on shoes before going out for a walk around the neighborhood. North asked, "my shoes?"

I said, "These are North's shoes"

To which he replied, "Actually, these are Eli's shoes. (the shoes were hand-me-downs)

Later after waking up from a nap he informed me, "I need a rag to wipe my nose."

Sky has a grumpy day...Maybe he doesn't like the pumpkin patch?

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Sunday afternoon, Reed and I napped the kids early so we could go to the pumpkin patch before the next rain storm. Although most of the pictures show Sky scowling and North being carried by Reed, we really did have a great time. We lucked out with the weather in addition to finding two great pumpkins. This year we are waiting to carve our pumpkins until the week of Halloween. Last year, the faces caved in from an abundance of mold. (Don't laugh, Leslie!)

I promise you that Sky was rested during this picture. Maybe he doesn't like the color orange?

North was fascinated by the rotting pumpkins. After about 19 pumpkin probes, I finally convinced him to use his boot to poke the decaying flesh.

Then His Royal Highness decided he needed a ride back to the tractor. Daddy got to prove how strong he really is.

After the pumpkin selection and tractor ride, North got his face painted, ate a corn dog and apple cider (shh, don't tell his Mama), and played in the hay maze.

Let's check on Skyler. Yup, still grumpy.

"Life is a mixture"

2009-10-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

The above line comes from a lecture Sky and I attended last night given by Dr. Sandra Steingraber. Her intent was to better help us understand the vast array of chemical toxins currently residing in our environment as well as furthering our awareness to the impact those toxins have on our bodies, from pre-pregnancy through old age. Dr. Steingraber is a biologist by trade with an specialty in studies relating to the influence of chemical toxins in our environment. She had bladder cancer at a young age; I speculate that this has led to her ability to humanize and clearly explain in her writing as to how our bodies are being affected by the chemicals we consume throughout our daily living. She wrote two books of interest to me, Living Downstream: A Scientist's Personal Investigation of Cancer and the Environment and Having Faith: An Ecologist's Journey to Motherhood

In her talk last night, Dr. Steingraber began by talking about the current chemical regulation system and their guidelines used when determining a "safe level of toxicity." The example used for this lecture was Altrazine, a common pesticide used in California agriculture. She outlined how this pesticide interrupts the photosynthesis of common weeds in addition to being highly water-soluble (to be better able to get into the inner workings of the cells of the weeds), thus also easily crossing into a local water supply in addition to being highly absorbable into our own bodies. Dr. Steingraber explained that this particular toxin is a hormone disruptor; changing normal human cell function by way of making a human body create too much estrogen. If I remember the numbers right, she said that the accepted toxicity level was 3 parts per billion. My question after hearing this was, how many combined parts per billion do all the fertilizers and pesticides residing in our bodies add up too? What is happening to our bodies, the bodies of our children, as all these "safe levels" of chemical toxins mix up inside us?

Then she went on to describe the effects of specific chemical toxins on a growing fetus. From the chemical influences on a woman's individual egg and a man's sperm potency to the hormonal influences interrupting implantation; each step is beginning to be closely studied as more and more pregnancies are being challenged by the increasing numbers and amounts of chemical toxins. Of interest to me was the subject of the placenta acting as a magnifier when transporting energy to the baby. Dr. Steingraber used the example of mercury. She cited studies showing when scientists compared an amount of mercury in a mother's bloodstream after consuming a tuna fish sandwich, something that is very well known to contain measurable amounts of mercury, to the amount of mercury in the umbilical blood cord, the umbilical blood amount will always be higher then the mother's own blood count. Dr. Steingraber attributed this magnification to the placenta falsely recognizing mercury to be an essential element, similar to iodine or calcium, thus believing it to be important to pass onto the growing baby.

The lecture I attended was partially sponsored by Planned Parenthood. So there were many right to choosers in the crowd. I think I speak for many of us when I say that Dr. Steingraber cleverly brought both sides of the abortion discussion together by pointing out that many cases of pregnancy are abruptly ended because either a mother's pregnancy hormones have been negatively affected at a critical point in a pregnancy or a embryo has been prevented from successful implantation with a result of an unwelcome spontaneous abortion. Dr. Steingraber pointed out that all women deserve the right to choose to be pregnant and not to be prevented from successfully completing a healthy pregnancy by the growing amounts of chemicals in our living environment.

Another point of interest to me was the information she gave about the infant blood/brain barrier. A human body is very good at circulating food, waste, and other various things throughout the whole system, but if blood containing very strong toxic chemicals directly infuses with brain tissue, then neurons and pathways become harmed. Therefore, our body grows a barrier between the circulatory system and brain tissue to protect our developing intelligence. However, this barrier does not fully complete its development until a human is about six months old. In the meantime, all kinds of substances have full access to a child's growing intelligence. I think this is interesting when viewed in combination with a growing parenting consensus that most babies should not receive solid foods until they are closer to 6 months, rather then the old thought of 4 months. Not only is a babies' digestive tract more ready to absorb the nutrients and the motor skills of the mouth and throat more organized, but now we can also say that a baby is better able to fend off the influx of chemicals that so much of our un-organic food now contains.

I enjoyed this lecture very much. I had read Having Faith when I was pregnant with Sky. I admired how well Dr. Steingraber was able to unite so much scientific lingo with a very creative writing style. Her book was very well researched, yet also very interesting to read. Sky attended this lecture with me and I think he enjoyed himself as well. We were out well past his normal bedtime, yet he was very active as he looked around at all the people. Once Dr. Steingraber began her talk, I walked around the back of the room with him in the sling until he fell asleep and I could return to my seat (also near the back).

Today while reading books

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Me: "North, are you happy?"

North: "No."

Me: "Are you sad?"

North: "I am North."

...and that about sums up a feeling of self-esteem I would wish upon anyone.